L.A. SPEAK

Cutter cant. Some terms used by L. A. hairdressers:

atomic bomb n . a unisex coif that resembles a mushroom cloud, long on top and ballooning down to a sharp horizontal line at the ears, with very short hair below that. Also, mushroom.

buffalo n. man’s haircut that is very short on the sides and long on top and in back, much like the fur on a buffalo’s head.

buzz ball n. de rigueur cut for surfers and skateboarders. The scalp is shaved about an inch above the hairline all the way around the head and the top is left long and unruly.

chemo cut n. hair so damaged by dyes or chemicals that it breaks, undermining the cut. “She’s trying to grow her hair long, but she always ends up with a chemo cut. “

crab meat n. overprocessed hair that’s as mushy as soggy crab meat. “She wants another perm, but no way. She’s got severe crab meat. “

crimper n. pejorative term for a hairdresser. Originated in the hair-rolling ‘60s, when crimping hair was a cardinal sin. “He’s nothing but a crimper. “

cul-de-sac n. a severely balding man. “My next guy is a cul-de - sac , so I’ll be done cutting in about 15 minutes.”

helmet head n. a bob or blunt cut hairsprayed so that it never moves, except maybe in hurricane weather.

wrap n. the unfortunate but ubiquitous comb-over. “I’m slowly working on Mr. Weingart to cut more of his wrap until he gets brave enough to admit he’s a cul-de-sac.” When the wind hits a wrap, it’s known as a fatal flap.