CHARGERS AT MIDSEASON : A Crazy Climb From the Basement

Life is good. The Chargers are winning, Burt Grossman is talking and Leslie O’Neal is not.

“Coach (Bobby) Ross says when we win the sky looks a little bluer, the wife looks a little prettier and the grass looks a little greener,” Grossman said. “Hey, I got sprinklers and my grass looks green all the time. My girl looks damn good win or lose, and my dog always looks like crap.

“The four wins in a row are just great, but come on, we showed we can lose four in a row, too.”

The schizophrenic Chargers have reached the midway mark of the 1992 season, and the team that was simply looking for a victory a month ago is now talking playoffs.

“A win this week will probably generate playoff ticket inquiries,” said Joe Scott, the Chargers’ ticket manager.

And so it goes: Blaise Winter becomes a household name, Stan Humphries confirms Bobby Beathard’s reputation as a personnel whiz and who could have doubted Bobby Ross’ ability to coach a winner?

The Chargers are ranked No. 2 in NFL on defense and No. 10 on offense and have been mistake-free on special teams.

“Strange year,” Grossman said. “I actually spent time with Leslie O’Neal before a game this year. I took a cab with him. And he paid.

“Of course, that’s the only reason I went; he paid.”

Strange, strange year. After the first four games the Chargers had been outscored by their opponents, 95-29. Humphries had thrown one touchdown pass and had been intercepted eight times. Wide receiver Anthony Miller had a dozen catches but no touchdowns. The Chargers had five more giveaways than takeaways.

“If you go back to the first few games, Stan was getting killed, he was throwing balls all over the place and people were dropping them,” Grossman said. “There were fumbled punts, and people were running the ball back on us and it looked like a circus.

“But you know me: I just kept saying, ‘Give us time. Just give us time and New England.’ ”

They got Seattle instead, and the rest may be NFL history if the Chargers finish this season above .500 and become the first team to do so after opening 0-4.

The remaining opponents on the Chargers’ schedule have a combined record of 20-36--the AFC wild-card playoffs begin play the weekend of Jan. 2-3.

“Each week Junior (Seau) and I sit in a room watching ESPN and they are always featuring another team or somebody else,” Grossman said. “It’s always somebody but us. It all comes down to winning; you don’t win, you don’t get interviewed.”

ESPN arrived this week to interview Grossman and Seau together.

“It’s different when you’re winning,” Grossman said. “We had a police helicopter fly over practice this week and they yelled, ‘Go Chargers.’ In the past it was, ‘You’re parked illegal; go move your car.’

“The stadium still has 10,000 empty seats, so I don’t think people are totally sold on us yet. They shouldn’t be. A season turns it around, not a four-game stretch.”

One more victory, however, and that’s more than this team could muster a year ago. Three more victories, and a parade might be in order.

“If you’re doing a report card, you have to give Humphries two A’s,” Grossman said. “He’s the MVP on offense, and Gill Byrd is the MVP on defense.

“Leslie missed a game, Junior missed a game, and we won. The big test for us at the time was Denver, and Gill had the big day. He’s been hurt all year and he’s played, and plus, he’s old.”

Everybody’s entitled to their opinion:

C+: QUARTERBACKS

Coach Bobby Ross decided to open the season with Bob Gagliano at quarterback. Oops. Humphries comes along, gets the flu, sheds the pizza and has folks convinced in no time that John Friesz will make a great backup quarterback. George Bush wins in a landslide, too, after Desert Storm. At the halfway mark last season Friesz had thrown for eight touchdowns and was intercepted eight times. Humphries has seven touchdowns and a dozen interceptions. The jury continues deliberations.

B: RUNNING BACKS

Shoulder injury to Rod Bernstine puts bite in offense, but enhances Chargers’ chances of keeping him away from free agency. How much money will another team pay for a player with an untested shoulder? Before last week Marion Butts lacked the wallop that terrorized defenses in previous seasons. Eric Bieniemy adds a big-play spark, and once they attach those handles to the ball, he’ll be just fine. If the Chargers are going to insist on charging $30 a ticket to watch them play, they have to get the ball to Ronnie Harmon more and let him entertain.

C+: RECEIVERS

After the first four games Shawn Jefferson led all wide receivers with 13 catches and the Chargers had four losses. In the last four games Jefferson has one catch and the Chargers have four wins. There you go. Anthony Miller is off to the best start in his career, and all the Chargers had to do was plug in the ball machine. Chargers will need big second half from Nate Lewis to keep heat off Miller. Nate who? You know, the Chargers’ No. 2 wide receiver.

B-: OFFENSIVE LINE

If these guys continued to play the way they opened the season, they’d be up on charges for quarterback abuse. Once Humphries started to take the big lugs out to dinner each week, however, the season turned around. Throw in the tight ends, and these guys have neutralized some of the best pass rushers in the game. Add an extra dessert to their meal and they might take the Chargers all the way to the playoffs.

A: DEFENSIVE LINE

The Chargers have the No. 1 rushing defense in the league and they start Blaise Winter and George Thornton at defensive tackle. League officials have indicated that this qualifies as an NFL miracle. Chris Mims has four sacks. What comes next after a miracle? These home video TV shows are always looking for funny stuff; they ought to show offensive tackles trying to block Leslie O’Neal. O’Neal has seven sacks and won’t talk, but let’s see if he remains silent once the national TV people and columnists start calling. Must have just killed him when ESPN’s Andrea Kramer sat down to talk with Grossman and Seau.

A: LINEBACKERS

“Everybody raves about Junior Seau, but put Junior in my body and let’s see how he plays,” Grossman said. “My grandmother could play in his body and be an All Pro.” Seau leads the team in tackles and laughs at Grossman’s jokes. He’s an inspiration. The reason is clear now why the Chargers went after Eugene Marve in Plan B: They wanted to give Henry Rolling somebody to talk with.

A-: DEFENSIVE BACKS

Byrd soon might be cashing his Social Security checks, but there are wide receivers who are no longer with us who played under the mistaken notion that Byrd had lost a step. If Stanley Richard makes the kind of progress Seau made after a slow rookie start, the Chargers will never allow another touchdown to be scored. Tony Blaylock and Floyd Fields have bought time for the development of Delton Hall, Marquez Pope and James Fuller. There’s a call for volunteers now to inform Blaylock and Fields that they are just stand-ins.

C: SPECIAL TEAMS

A reminder to you youngsters, just because you flunk your first few exams doesn’t mean you can’t salvage a passing grade come semester break. As for the honor roll, don’t push it.

A: COACHING

How about that Bill Arnsparger?