KID STUFF : Developing Teens’ ‘Social Savvy’

Everyone gets embarrassed. But teen-agers seem to spend the most time getting red in the face.

“Teens really hate to bring attention to themselves,” says Judith Re, author of “Social Savvy.” She adds, “Unless it’s deliberate.”

Re tries to lighten their load. She has written a handbook for teens who want to know what to say, what to do and how to feel confident in any situation.

In her book, Re offers solutions to hundreds of potentially sticky and painful situations, such as:

* You’re spending the night with a friend whose parents begin yelling at each other. (Try to remove yourselves from the scene.)

* You’re dying to go to a concert with a friend; you can afford the ticket, she can’t. (Invite your friend to go along as your guest. Or lend her the money for the ticket.)

* A classmate loses a parent. (Write a sympathy note. It can express not only your sadness but also your good feelings.)

Re also goes over traditional etiquette, like how to tip a waiter and which fork to use.

Now in her 30s, Re travels nationwide, teaching everyone from 8-year-olds to corporate types looking for training in everything from making introductions to entertaining clients.

In fact, the adults who buy her book often keep it for themselves, Re says. “It’s a good brushup.”