New Mothers Get Their Own TLC : Lifestyles: A service allows new parents to relax and enjoy the first days of their babies’ lives.
The first few weeks after Rhoda Bodzin and Gil Gross welcomed their son, Spencer, into the world, they were able to sit back and enjoy every coo and movement their newborn made.
So were Abby Hauser and husband, Pierre, after their daughter, Olivia, was born. The Hausers are also the parents of 15-month-old Charlotte.
Unencumbered by the usual chores of shopping for diapers and groceries and phoning the pediatrician, these two families enjoyed delicious, healthful meals and were able to focus on each other and the baby.
These couples hired Christine Kealy, president and founder of In a Family Way, a doula service based in New York City. Doula, from the Greek meaning mother to mother, is an old concept, but it is relatively new in the United States.
“I’m not the kind to have someone else run my household,” Bodzin said in a telephone interview. “But after you have a baby, you experience total sensory overload. Christine knew just what to do so that Gil and I had total freedom to admire and enjoy our new baby.”
Added Abby Hauser, “Pierre and I actually had time for ourselves, a rarity for new parents. Christine seemed to be everywhere at once without being in the way. Christine had all the right touches to make us feel pampered and cared for.”
For $15 to $25 an hour, a doula will go to the family’s home, care for the other children, shop, cook, do light housekeeping and discuss subjects such as breast-feeding and choosing a post-pregnancy wardrobe.
Although no formal training is necessary, “being a mother is an essential criteria,” Kealy says. Most doulas know basic first aid and Lamaze, a training program for natural childbirth. Many have nursing backgrounds.
Kealy, the mother of three and a former elementary schoolteacher, says a good doula should be able to disappear into the background. “We don’t give advice; we share experiences with families.”
She has taken clients to specialty stores and helped choose maternity wardrobes. She has performed hand-and-foot massages for new mothers, cleaned floors and bathrooms and cooked up a storm. Before she departs, she often paints a watercolor of the new baby, frames it and presents it to the parents.
MotherLove is a New Jersey-based doula service that also offers lactation consultation and labor support, as well as household services.
“We stress that we are non-medical support,” says Debra Pascali, who founded MotherLove in 1987.
“Although there have been a couple of occasions when our doulas have identified a baby that isn’t well and needs hospitalization.”
Pascali is a former childbirth educator and vice president of the National Assn. of Postpartum Care Services. She employs 40 doulas and has five branches in the New York-New Jersey region.
“In our society, a woman has a baby and is expected to go right back to work,” Pascali says. “But if a mother isn’t nurtured, she can’t possibly take care of her baby.”
Pascali favors an early discharge plan that would allow new mothers to leave the hospital 24 hours after giving birth but would also provide 20 hours of a doula service at home at no extra cost.
“In Scandinavia and different parts of Europe, a doula is built into the health plan,” Pascali says. “The United States really lags in supporting women after giving birth.”
