TV REVIEWS : ‘Family’ Photo Album on KCET

If ever there were a TV special that demanded to be a coffee-table book instead, it’s “Celebrating the American Family” (at 5:30 p.m. today on KCET-TV Channel 28).

Hosted by Jill Eikenberry and Michael Tucker, the hour consists primarily of anonymous still photos of family gatherings and rituals from through the decades, accompanied by quick, equally anonymous voiceover reminiscences that act as captions. It’s a feel-good special that mostly makes you feel listless; you keep wishing they’d turn the pages faster.

But hold on--corporate sponsor MCI has created a hard-bound version of the special, now being offered to new customers of the “Family & Friends” phone savings plan. So, then: Call your mom, get the book, skip the movie.

Eikenberry: “Relationships at home shape how we relate to the world.”

Tucker: “They cannot be escaped. They come with life. They never go away.”

Neither do the homilies in the host couple’s patronizing narration, which exists entirely on a super-obvious level of everything-I-know-I-learned-in-kindergarten platitudes.

The succession of mostly older, historical photos is sometimes fascinating to look at, but each vintage print is accompanied by an unattributed 10- or 15-second family anecdote, read by stiff voiceover actors affecting accents and characters. The better quips make you long to hear a real family story or two--the kind a dotty aunt might tell while her turkey gets cold--instead of these bite-size musings.

As well-intentioned as “Celebrating the Family” is (even to the point of affording token mentions to dysfunctional and non-traditional families amid its homespunness), it makes for such a sugary and stilted piece of television that it might momentarily make even the most conservative among us suddenly, inexplicably want to run out and buy that Madonna book.