Ways to Defend Your Children

The best defense against sexual predators lies in teaching children to distinguish between good and bad touching and to feel comfortable talking to their parents about their bodies, counselors say.

“This whole thing thrives in secrecy,” says Joe Mazza, clinical supervisor with the Oregon Children’s Services Division. “Kids need to be trusting enough to speak honestly about sex and their bodies.”

The typical sexual predator is not some drooling stranger in the alley. More often, it’s someone the child trusts: a friend or relative, a baby-sitter or day-care worker.

Assuring children that it’s OK to set their own limits with adults is important, says mental health therapist Kathleen Davis of Roseburg, Ore.

“The first time children say ‘no’ to adults shouldn’t be when they’re being abused,” she says. “They need to be taught that it’s appropriate to say ‘no.’ ”

Parents can help by avoiding situations that place their children at risk of abuse. Some suggestions:

* Educate yourself about sexual assault and abuse.

* Leave your child only with people you trust.

* Check up closely on your baby-sitter or child-care provider. Drop in for visits unannounced and note how your child is behaving.

* Supervise your children. Know where they are and who they are with.