Oh, How We Partied

As the year comes to a close, your Social Climes staff decided to sit down, take the lampshades off our heads, rub our tired feet and reflect on the parties and events of 1992.

The economy took a licking but the parties kept on ticking, from glamorous fetes to scaled-down benefits where celebrants ate rice and beans from paper plates while sitting on the floor, all in the name of political correctness.

Here are some of the highlights--and lowlights--of the year gone by. * Best example of how to be ecological: Florist Wayne Woods of the Woods at the Four Seasons hotel took his interest in floral recycling to a new level when he was commissioned to do centerpieces for thA. Zoo’s Beastly Ball. He poised 5-foot banana trees in burlap-wrapped pots on 68 tables. Surrounding the trees were clusters of fruit. After the party, the fruit was fed to the animals and the trees were planted throughout the zoo grounds.

* Philanthropic mess of the year: Women in Film, a nonprofit professional organization, made a major flub when it hosted an Academy Awards viewing party. It also sanctioned a disco club to use its name to sell tickets and honor leading women in the industry for another event the same night. People who received invitations to both had no idea what to make of the double parties, causing mass confusion and damaging the group’s credibility.

* Best benefit entertainment: Bernie Taupin’s all-star “West Side Story” show benefiting AIDS Project Los Angeles featured Barbra Streisand, Wynonna Judd, Clint Black, Kenny Loggins, Aaron Neville, Liza Minnelli and Elton John singing “I Feel Pretty.”

* Best kids’ party: Elizabeth Glaser’s outdoor carnival to benefit her Pediatric AIDS Foundation. Guests could watch Meryl Streep work the fish pond booth, Dustin Hoffman and Robin Williams help kids with target-shooting, Geena Davis dance with a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, or Ronald and Nancy Reagan play with finger paints and glitter.

* And maybe J.D. Salinger will write the sequel to “Catcher in the Rye”: Streisand sang in public this year--twice. The occasions were a ritzy Bill Clinton fund-raiser and the Bernie Taupin APLA benefit, which not-so-coincidentally honored her.

* Stealth premiere of the year: Fearing protests from incensed gay rights groups, TriStar held its premiere of “Basic Instinct” on its highly guarded studio lot. As early as the day before, the studio denied that the premiere was happening.

* The premiere that wasn’t: David Lynch’s “Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me” debuted with a lavish party--but no movie (due, one presumes, to terrible word of mouth substantiated by terrible reviews and box office ennui). This did not start a new trend--no one held an opening night party for a play that was not performed.

* The honorary Justine Bateman: The Bateman “Can’t You Just Stay Home for a Change?” award goes to party girl and tabloid queen Shannen Doherty, who even managed to travel to the Republican National Convention to perform the Pledge of Allegiance.

* Most overcrowded bashes: bang! magazine’s affairs, which approximated trying to have a party in a Tokyo subway car during rush hour.

* New overused party spot: The Santa Monica Museum of Flying.

* Cultural elite spiritual crisis: At a premiere of “The Panama Deception,” an unabashedly liberal documentary about U. S. policy in Central America, unabashedly liberal guests were forced to cross a picket line (staged by supporters of Pacifica radio station KPFK-FM) if they wanted to see the movie.

* Best celebrity-ogling opportunity next to the Oscars: At the Carousel of Hope ball to benefit the Children’s Diabetes Foundation, even major celebrities go ga-ga over the other stars who show up. Among this year’s guests were two former Presidents (Ford and Reagan), Elizabeth Taylor, Rod Stewart, Kevin Costner, Claudia Schiffer, Sylvester Stallone, Florence Griffith Joyner, Bob Hope, Whitney Houston and Luke Perry. And while tickets to the Oscars are next to impossible to obtain, all that’s needed to get into the Carousel of Hope is a cool $1,000.

* The feel-good party of the year: The opening night party for the play “The Real Live Brady Bunch” was like an out-of-body experience for die-hard fans of the TV show because many of the original stars were there: Florence Henderson (Carol), Eve Plumb (Jan), Susan Olsen (Cindy) and the show’s creator, Sherwood Schwartz. Actress Ricki Lake was so intent on coming that she skipped a screening of her own film.

* Most uplifting event: The Alzheimer’s Assn. of Los Angeles hosted a benefit that included moving speeches about dealing with Alzheimer’s patients. Shelley Fabares, James Burrows and Laurie Burrows Grad, Parker Stevenson and his brother Hutch Parker, Peter Gallagher and others emotionally recalled good times and bad with loved family members. Even though they dispensed a dose of reality about the disease, the overwhelming feeling was one of hope and caring.

* Best new addition to the English language: The words We Elvi , uttered at the premiere of “Honeymoon in Vegas.” It was used by Elvis impersonator Johnny Baron in the sentence, “Elvis used to put Band-Aids on his fingers in front of his rings because when he reached out, his fans would try to pull them off. We Elvi don’t have to do that.”

* Most extreme fashion statement: At the premiere of “Boomerang,” co-star Grace Jones went beyond a statement; it was more a design manifesto. The actress/model wore an Issey Miyake creation she described as “a work of art.” It appeared to be a backless, gold-lame, latex, front-zippered (mostly open) vest / bustier / sleeveless wet-suit jacket worn with a white gauze, accordion-pleated, fringed skirt. It was accompanied by a gold-threaded shawl. “It’s really very simple,” said Jones, who was also wearing a platinum wig.

* Best food line: A woman grazing her way through a premiere party remarked, “In the Girl Scouts, I got the hors d’oeuvres badge.”

* Most ubiquitous party souvenir: Temporary tattoos. There are days when you wonder if all over Los Angeles women with red roses enveloping black swords on their forearms are debating whether they should keep their jackets on at office meetings.