500 Mourn, Praise Slain Friend They All Knew and Loved

Though the high school sweethearts had dated just a few months, slain honors student Stuart A. Tay and girlfriend Jennifer Lin had discussed the possibility of marrying on Dec. 31, 1999.

The Foothill High School students had picked that date “so we could start the millennium together,” Lin said at a tearful memorial service for Tay on Saturday afternoon.

But looking toward Tay’s parents, Lin said in a halting voice: “Stu, I will always remember your family and regret that I will never be a part of it.”

More than 500 teachers, friends and family members gathered at First United Methodist Church to pay tribute to the 17-year-old boy who was brutally slain on New Year’s Eve, allegedly by an unlikely group composed mostly of top-notch students.

Tay was to be buried later Saturday at Forest Lawn Cemetery in the Hollywood Hills.

Five teen-agers--including one boy in the running for class valedictorian--have been charged with murder in Tay’s death. The accused ringleader--18-year-old Sunny Hills High School student Robert Chan--could receive the death penalty if convicted.

Tay was portrayed Saturday as an intelligent and sensitive student who came to the aid of insecure kids and held a deep fascination for high-tech gadgetry, from computers to Boy Scout compasses. He could quote Nietzsche as easily as his favorite rock group, Depeche Mode.

Tay’s parents--Dr. Alfred Tay and Linda Tay, an obstetrician and a homemaker who lived with their two children in an exclusive section of Orange--listened as friends testified to his devotion and love for them, something he was more likely to share with confidants than his family.

“Stu wanted to be so much like his father,” said Leo Kim, who noted that Tay wanted to be an ophthalmologist. Tay, who had the ordinary teen-age squabbles with his mother, felt particularly bad one night after he yelled at her for reading through his yearbook, Kim said.

Kim, one of Tay’s best friends, recalled how Tay always intervened when other students tried to pick on him. Tay would joke that “only he had a right to pick on me and he wanted to protect his rights,” the slight boy said in a halting farewell near Tay’s rose-covered casket and 16 floral arrangements.

“Stu tried to appear so stoic and strong but I knew in his heart he was a gentle person,” said Kim, 17, of Irvine. “He was the best of friends and best of sons.”

Some mourners were especially moved when Kim recalled how Tay’s mother frequently paged her son on his beeper and how he always responded right away. On the night of Tay’s death, a frantic Linda Tay had phoned police when Stuart failed to return her calls after going out on a short errand.

“I asked why he always returned his mother’s calls to his pager,” said Kim. “Stu said he didn’t want to worry her.”

Tay died 11 days ago, after he was beaten repeatedly with two baseball bats and a sledgehammer, police have said. Rubbing alcohol was poured down his throat and his mouth covered with duct tape before he was hurriedly buried in a makeshift grave.

Police claim Tay--who had no criminal record--was planning a computer heist with the suspects. But representatives for the family, including a private investigator, say that Chan had previously dated Lin and was jealous of her relationship with Tay. Police have discounted the second theory.

Kim and others close to Tay have disputed published reports that Tay had a dark side.

“I want people to know he was one of the good people,” Kim said. “I am offended by the media’s portrayal of his dual life. There was no dual life. . . . Perhaps his only fault was his hyper-extended imagination.”

But “friends and family could see through Stuart’s loud talk,” said Janet Lin, another friend.

Friends provided a few light moments during the two-hour service that was attended by the Boy Scouts Color Guard and featured a selection of music by Tay’s favorite pop groups, including Erasure and 10,000 Maniacs. One of Tay’s friends sang Eric Clapton’s song of loss, “Tears in Heaven.”

Referring to Tay’s staunch Republican politics, Jennifer Lin said there was one “bright side” to her boyfriend’s tragic death.

“Stu didn’t have to live to see a Democrat in the White House,” she said.

Jan Greenberg, activities director of Tay’s Boy Scout troop, said she took an immediate liking to Tay five years ago.

“Of all the boys in the troop, I felt closest to Stu,” said Greenberg, who told mourners about the trepidation her son Nate felt on the group’s first weekend outing shortly after Tay first joined the troop in 1988. Tay was 12 at the time.

“Nate was really scared, like a little rabbit. Even though Stu didn’t know the boy, he put his arm around his shoulder and said not to worry. He said he’d be his buddy during the weekend,” Greenberg said.

Greenberg said she had hiked several hundred miles with Tay and traveled with him and the other boys to Big Sur and to Mt. Whitney.

Tay “had the largest Swiss army knife I’ve ever seen,” Greenberg said, adding that her husband and son would spend hours discussing “state-of-the-art water pumps and directional finders.”

Tay planned on reaching the rank of Eagle Scout before his 18th birthday, Greenberg said.

Colleen Tan, a friend of the Tays for 21 years, said the family had come to the Los Angeles area from Singapore in the hope of living “their version of the American dream.” Once Stuart and his younger sister, Candice, were born, “I knew their dream was realized,” Tan said.

Tan recalled Tay’s love of high speed, even on his tricycle. Several speakers recalled Tay’s love of risk-taking, like the time he and a friend jumped off a second-story house into a swimming pool.

English teacher Joan Kasper said Tay was “wild” on skis and had a penchant for exhibiting his race-driver-like skills behind the wheel.

Tan, who delivered the eulogy, reminded the congregation of the terrible way Tay met his end.

Relaying how jade has been said to represent benevolence, courage and fortitude, Tan said the precious stone “can be broken, but jade can never bend. . . . Individually and collectively, our hearts are breaking but we will never bend to this callous, heinous crime. . . . Justice must, and will, be done.”