He Gave Jayhawks the Lead, Then They Gave Him the Boot

Joe Zielinski, also known as Captain Jayhawk, was banned from Allen Field House for the rest of the season after then-No. 1-ranked Kansas was upset by Cal State Long Beach.

Near the end of the Jayhawks’ 64-49 loss two weeks ago, Zielinski, a Kansas alumnus, switched the nameplates on an auxiliary scoreboard to make it look as if Kansas were leading.

“I’ve never felt so bad in my life,” said Zielinski, who wore a crimson and blue half-basketball on his head and a cape on his back and was thrown into the air by fellow fans during timeouts while the band played. “Everyone was so depressed. I just thought I’d fix it so Kansas would win.”

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Sugar Shaq: Shaquille O’Neal of the Orlando Magic described himself to Newsweek magazine as “a big man who on the court is mean, dunking, battling, run-at-ya, while off the court I’m a nice, friendly guy with a very pretty smile.”

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Trivia time: Who was the last rookie to lead the NBA in rebounding?

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Layup contest? Chris Jackson of the Denver Nuggets, who has never dunked in an NBA game, has been invited to participate in the NBA’s Slam Dunk contest Feb. 20 at Salt Lake City.

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Definition of character: Among the definitions for buffalo in Webster’s New World Dictionary: “baffle, bewilder, bluff, or overawe.”

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Not buffaloed: From an advertisement in the Dallas Morning News, on the morning of the Super Bowl: “Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be buffaloes.”

Underneath was this note: “Considering what the Cowboys are going to do to the Bills today, we’d like to think even Waylon and Willie would change their tune.”

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Hold the anchovies: At Duke’s Cameron Indoor Stadium, fans can have pizzas delivered to their seats for $7.

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No fan of Dans: In a letter to the Sporting News, Howard Schwartz of Las Vegas wrote that the magazine was wrong to include handicapper Danny Sheridan among its list of the 100 most powerful people in sports.

Wrote Schwartz: “Choosing Sheridan over more respected bettors is like listing Dan Quayle as one of the most charismatic people of the century.”

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Feckless Phil: Philadelphia magazine, which reported last month that Lenny Dykstra of the Philadelphia Phillies lost $47,000 during one night at a casino in Atlantic City, reported this month that it might have caught Dykstra on a slow night.

Quoting an anonymous casino source, the magazine reported that Dykstra averages $3,300 per bet at the tables and lost $114,000 during one October outing.

“We’re really walking on eggshells with this,” Phillie General Manager Lee Thomas told the magazine. “There’s a fine line. I’m not condoning it, but since it’s legal, I can’t tell him not to go.”

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A bookworm, he’s not: From Phil Jackman of the Baltimore Sun: “Three cheers for golfer John Daly at least thinking he might have beaten any problem he has with alcohol after a quickie rehabilitation. But what do you think the folks down at the University of Arkansas thought when alumnus John said a book he read during the three-week program was the first he had opened since his junior year in high school?”

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Trivia answer: Wilt Chamberlain, who averaged 27 rebounds during the 1959-60 season.

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Quotebook: Steve Yzerman of the Detroit Red Wings, after several teammates had rushed to his aid as he scuffled with Ron Sutter of the St. Louis Blues: “I guess they weren’t really impressed with my fighting ability.”