How thoughtful: Condom Wrap, a Long Beach...

How thoughtful: Condom Wrap, a Long Beach store, is advertising “outrageous Valentine, Chinese New Year and Black History condom gifts.”

Forward to the past: NBC’s “Laugh-In” retrospective on Sunday night contained clips of two eerily prophetic “News of the Future” bits from the late 1960s. One was an item about Ronald Reagan completing a second presidential term in 1988. (The phrase “President Reagan” drew big laughs.) The other was a prediction about the Berlin Wall being dismantled in 1989.

However, a third forecast--sort of a good news/bad news item--did not pan out in 1988:

“Racial discrimination was finally eliminated in L.A. today when the smog became so dense it was impossible to determine anyone’s color.”

Dueling arrows: Speaking of bad directions, Bill Stephen of Lakewood found a puzzling choice for motorists on Clark Avenue in Long Beach (see photo).

Well, at least this boss is upfront about it: James Nelson Brown of Westlake Village found the accompanying, politically incorrect ad in a legal journal.

List of the day: The top 10 reasons, in the opinion of New York City Councilman Stephen DiBrienza, why comic David Letterman should not move from New York to L.A. to host his new CBS show:

* 10. Right on red: Just too complicated.

* 9. La-La Land even dumber slogan than Big Apple.

* 8. Not easy being funny in the middle of a riot.

* 7. L.A.’s idea of mass transit: the San Andreas Fault.

* 6. Pacific time zone could really throw off Dave’s delivery.

* 5. Buttafuoco! Buttafuoco! Buttafuoco!

* 4. Cigar would put L.A. on permanent smog alert.

* 3. Mayor Dinkins versus (reelection opponents) Stein and Giuliani: Grab the popcorn.

* 2. Lead poisoning? Hey, at least we have water.

* 1. Our roads and bridges take years to collapse--not seconds.

Lost in America: Ron Harris of Culver City heard radio commentator Charles Osgood mention that the Metro Blue Line runs from Los Angeles to “Long Branch.”

We’ll forgive Charlie because he is based 3,000 miles away in the land of Buttafuoco! Buttafuoco! Buttafuoco!

miscelLAny:

Two restaurant owners--the Pantry’s Richard Riordan and Engine Co. 28’s Linda Griego--are running for mayor--as has been noted. A current public servant, L.A. County Sheriff Sherman Block, also has a background in the food biz. Block was once a counterman at Canter’s Delicatessen on Fairfax Avenue.