RELATIONSHIPS : Wise in the Ways of the Words : Relax. You need be neither gentleman nor scholar. Local lovers are testament to the powers of passion penned.

Candy and flowers may be sure point-getters in the game of love, but if you want to be among the top scorers on Valentine’s Day, don’t give your partner something perishable.

This is a time for a gift that has the potential to bring perennial pleasure--a passionate love letter like the one in which Napoleon Bonaparte told Josephine Beauharnais: “I wake filled with thoughts of you. Your portrait and the intoxicating evening which we spent yesterday have left my senses in turmoil. Sweet, incomparable Josephine, what a strange effect you have on my heart!”

Perhaps no one could express love better in words than John Keats, who wrote this to Fanny Brawne: “You are always new. The last of your kisses was ever the sweetest; the last smile the brightest; the last movement the gracefullest . . . .When you are in the room my thoughts never fly out the window: you always concentrate my whole senses.”

Of course, it’s a lot easier to shop for a token of love than to compose a lasting tribute to the object of your desire--especially if you strive for the eloquence of someone such as Keats.

But, according to Allen and Ellie Deever of Tustin, you don’t have to be a literary giant to write a heartfelt letter that will be treasured by the one you love. During their recent Coastline Community College workshop on “The Fine Art of Writing Love Letters,” the Deevers stressed that anyone with a desire to put love into words can prepare a Valentine’s Day missive with far more originality, intimacy and depth of feeling than anything Hallmark has to offer.

Although the Deevers, both of whom are free-lance writers, billed their workshop as an event to help “spark the romantic flames of love this Valentine’s season,” they pointed out in an interview that love letters should not be reserved for special occasions.

“For us, Valentine’s Day happens throughout the year,” said Allen, who fell in love with Ellie after she took one of his writing classes three years ago and has been writing love letters to her ever since.

The Deevers, who have been married nearly two years, explained that writing to each other is a way of keeping romance alive in their relationship.

Faith and Danny Boyle of Irvine have also found that love letters add excitement to their marriage. Because it has worked for them, the Boyles--who’ve been married for 15 years and publish a self-help newsletter for “committed couples”--recently urged their readers to try expressing passion on paper.

Faith pointed out that even a brief message of love can make a big impression--especially if it’s unexpected.

“One of the things that’s most important in keeping a relationship fresh is surprise,” Faith said. She likes to slip notes into Danny’s briefcase, and she never knows when she might find one from him somewhere around the house.

Every time Danny leaves her a note--even something as simple as, “I had a great time last night; I’ll be thinking of you today”--she feels lucky that, after years of togetherness, her husband doesn’t take her for granted.

Although that kind of reassurance often carries more weight when it comes in the form of a letter, couples who are in the habit of writing to each other appear to be a rarity in today’s fast-paced world.

Andrea Kaye, a Santa Ana psychotherapist, observed: “We’ve gotten away from the long love letters people used to take time to write years ago. People have gotten busy. And it’s too easy to pick up the phone or find something pre-written in a card.”

Love-letter-writing has also been on the wane because of the “commitment-phobic part of our society,” she added.

“You can deny saying something, but with a letter, there’s no denial. The written word is more risky.”

Expressing deep feelings in a love letter not only demonstrates commitment, it also exposes the writer to the possibility of rejection.

Agnes von Kurowsky, the Red Cross nurse who is believed to be the model for Catherine Barkley in “A Farewell to Arms,” admitted her vulnerability in a letter she wrote to Ernest Hemingway during World War I, while he was recuperating from wounds suffered on the Italian front: “I never pined for anybody before in my life. In every book I read, I seem to find a parallel to you and me. Does it sound foolish to you when I write like this? I really never thought I could write what I feel so plainly and openly. Writing has always made me draw into a shell--it seemed so irrevocable. Once written you can’t take back what you have said . . . . I’d hate to be opening my heart like this on paper, if I thought you were not responding in yours.”

Kaye, who uses love letter-writing as an exercise to help people get in touch with their emotions, said many of her clients--particularly the men--are reluctant to open their hearts on paper because they’re not in the habit of expressing their feelings, and they don’t know what kind of reaction they’re going to get.

To those who dismiss the idea of writing a letter by saying, “She knows I love her,” Kaye points out, “But you need to tell her.”

And a letter is a powerful medium for expressing love because, Kaye said, “when you put something in writing, you make it more real.”

A letter also has more staying power than the spoken word. “It’s something you can save and read over again and again,” Kaye noted.

Those who tend to underestimate the impact of the written word should remember how Edith Wharton described the moment of a love letter’s arrival: “The first glance to see how many pages there are, the second to see how it ends, the breathless first reading, the slow lingering over each phrase and each word, the taking possession, the absorbing of them, one by one, and finally the choosing of the one that will be carried in one’s thoughts all day, making an exquisite accompaniment to the dull prose of life.”

The Deevers offered participants in their writing workshop a number of pointers to help them compose love letters that are sure to be read breathlessly.

They stressed the importance of maintaining a light, upbeat tone and expressing appreciation (“This is what I love about you . . . “) rather than desperation (“I can’t live without you”).

Allen said Ellie’s love letters have made him aware of his strengths at times when he was focusing on his shortcomings.

“Your partner can take your failures and turn them into achievements through a love letter,” Ellie explained. “People often don’t give themselves enough credit. Your partner can help you see things the way they really are.”

Allen noted that a love letter is also an ideal place for reminiscing, which helps new couples establish shared history and gets long-time lovers “back in tune with what attracted them to each other in the first place.”

Allen, who is a certified flight instructor, once romanced Ellie by taking her up in his plane on a moonlit night and later rekindled that memory in writing so that it could be relived again and again.

His letter to Ellie reminded her of a moment when they were back on the ground, tying down the plane, and both felt the thrill of falling in love: “In the starlight we both looked up at once, faces only inches apart, and froze, our gazes locked on one another for a moment, neither of us saying a word, neither of us daring to move or break the spell. How excited and afraid we were that moment. Afraid to say what we felt. Afraid to touch, afraid to kiss . . . “

Later, they did share a brief goodnight kiss. And then, Allen wrote, “we said goodby from different cars and smiled that smile that said to each other, ‘Next time we won’t be so afraid.’ Or perhaps that look in our eyes said, ‘At last we’ve officially begun.’ ”

In the process of looking back and recapturing such moments on paper, letter-writers should also reflect on the affirmative ways in which their lives have changed since the start of their relationship, the Deevers advise.

A love letter should be a celebration of what two people have shared, how they’ve grown together and how they’ve enriched and brightened each other’s lives. It should leave the recipient “walking on air,” as Ellie put it. To increase the chances that a love letter will have this effect--and to minimize the risk of rejection--the Deevers include a list of “don’ts” in their workshop. For example:

* Don’t put yourself down or mention your partner’s faults.

* Don’t make comparisons with past lovers.

* Don’t ask for or make promises.

Don’t expect anything in return.

* Don’t write anything that sounds patronizing or false.

* Don’t focus praise on mundane matters such as the way he or she manages the finances or keeps the house in order.

And don’t hold back. Take a lesson from Victor Hugo, who allowed pure ecstasy to pour out in this passage of a letter to Adele Foucher: “My Adele, why is there no word for this but joy? Is it because there is no power in human speech to express such happiness? . . . Oh, now you are mine! At last you are mine!”

George Bernard Shaw’s love letters are also a rich source of inspiration for those who are bursting with passion. For example, in a letter to Janet Achurch, he wrote: “The world has vanished: the gardens of heaven surround me. I thought I was old--that youth was gone--that I should never be in love again in the starry way of the days before the great Disillusion; and lo! it is all back again, with the added wisdom to know my own happiness.”