Chew on this one: A sign outside...

Chew on this one: A sign outside the Original Pantry Cafe says: ‘Tough Enough to Turn L.A. Around,” which might seem like poor advertising for that longtime purveyor of red meat. But it’s the campaign slogan of restaurant owner Richard Riordan, who happens to be running for mayor. At least he’ll have an answer to that inescapable political question, “Where’s the beef?”

Dullards need not apply: Readers Alan Weiss and Paul Serchia each alerted us to a West Hollywood Chamber of Commerce ad (see excerpt) that parodies political correctness, as only the Creative City can. The notice, printed in Edge newspaper, demonstrates that “West Hollywood is a place with a sense of humor” and that “we’re not afraid to poke fun at ourselves,” explained the chamber’s Thomas Crail. We’d advise Crail to be careful where he parks his car, though.

List of the day: The Sheriff’s Department, which also isn’t afraid to kid itself, ran this list of unusual electronic transmissions by officers in its Star News publication:

* “Veh. is a tan Oldsmobuick.”

* “Rose Hills Mortuary, person not breathing.”

* “Susp. took neckless.”

* “Man with an oozie.”

* “Female armed with a pen.”

We wonder if the subject of the last warning was a reporter.

Roadside delivery: If the freeways seemed more crowded than usual Thursday morning, it’s no doubt because a woman gave birth to a boy on the westbound Foothill Freeway, west of Rosemead Boulevard, at 6:30. Then, half an hour later, a woman went into labor on the westbound San Bernardino Freeway. Fortunately, her husband was able to drive her to a nearby hospital, where she gave birth to a girl at 7:50. We couldn’t confirm whether he was driving an Oldsmobuick.

Crowning touch: Writer Dick Adler sent along the accompanying ad from the Butterfield & Butterfield auction house with the comment: “And that’s one fine rug Bogey is wearing. . . .”

Anachronisms in our time: We’ve mentioned the outdated remark about L.A. in the 1977 movie, “Annie Hall’: “There’s no crime. There’s no mugging. . . .” An earlier Woody Allen film, “Take the Money and Run” (1968), also contains a line that has been overtaken by time. That’s the scene where Allen tells a job interviewer the preposterous lie that he has operated a computer. Asked where, he says: “My aunt has one.” The line drew big laughs back then.

On the other hand, this straight line, which now seems very funny, is uttered by the narrator of “Double Indemnity’: “It was one of those California Spanish houses everyone was nuts about 10 or 15 years ago. This one must have cost somebody about 30,000 bucks.”

The movie was made in 1944.

miscelLAny:

In honor of National Women’s History Month, Glendale Community College’s student newspaper, El Vaquero, has changed its name from El Vaquero to La Vaquera--for this month only.

Not a job for just anyone.