Maybe Clinton Should Have Set VCR

So President Clinton has had his 100 days and didn’t get through his shopping list. Perhaps he should have tried something easier. The world is full of things that can be done in 100 days.

It takes less than 100 days to produce a rabbit.

You can read “War and Peace” in 100 days.

You can grow an entire salad.

Some Watergate conspirators spent less than 100 days in prison.

Some marriages don’t last that long. One of Elizabeth Taylor’s had only a two-week run; the other seven exceeded 100 days.

God cleansed the world of evil with Noah’s flood in 40 days and 40 nights. It didn’t last.

Wars have been started, fought, and won in less time.

And Columbus sailed the ocean blue in 70 days.

What can be done in 100 days?

Some people figure out how to program their VCR in less time.

On Mercury you can get a year older; the planet circles the sun in 88 days.

On Earth, you can salt-cure a country ham, or age a side of beef and have days left over.

Mozart wrote 626 pieces of music in his 35 years of life, one every 20 days if he started from birth.

Bicyclists could do the 2,500-mile Tour de France four times and still have 16 days left to do something useful.

William Henry Harrison died after being President for a month, avoiding criticism of his first 100 days.

The U.S. Supreme Court hears and disposes of an entire year’s worth of cases in 53 days on the bench.

Admiral Robert E. Perry reached the North Pole in 37.

And Phileas Fogg went “Around the World in 80 Days.”

There are three full moons in 100 days.

So Bill Clinton, despair not. Nothing in the Constitution mentions the first 100 days.

Take heart from the words of John F. Kennedy:

“All this will not be finished in the first one hundred days, nor will it be finished in the first one thousand days, nor in the life of this Administration, nor even perhaps in our lifetime on this planet.”

On the other hand, God created the Earth in six days and could afford to rest on the seventh. Judging from the record, Clinton can’t.