Though Drinker Has Died, Pain Lives On

“When Betrayal Is an Act of Love” (April 21) was exactly what happened to me and my brothers almost one year ago. My mother died of cirrhosis of the liver.

Like writer Cynthia Sokol’s mother, my mom was intelligent, creative, and very caring, especially to children. Everyone who knew my mom loved her for her wit and humor, but she had a tendency to hold most people away. What most people didn’t know was that she was an alcoholic.

I only once heard her say that she “might” have a problem, and that she was a “heavy” drinker. It wasn’t until she was already severely ill that I heard her admit to being an alcoholic.

Unlike Sokol’s mother, my mom never sought help. She scorned Alcoholics Anonymous because she could not bear the thought of standing in front of a roomful of people and admitting that she was weak and needed help. She said that she didn’t need someone else to tell her that she was an idiot and a failure.

Toward the end of her life, my mother became unresponsive and her breathing became loud and labored. For three days I sat by her bedside and listened to her breathing, and I know that I will carry that sound with me until the day I die.

I have never written a letter to any publication before, but like Cynthia Sokol I think that there may be someone out there who may benefit from the truth of what harm is caused by drinking. All my adult life I have kept my mother’s secret, but it is better to tell.

ROXANNE ROMERO

Santa Ana