Dialing For Dates : Voice mail: A growing trend is breathing new life into singles’ personal ads. The option offers the warmth of one’s own personal message machine, along with its screening capabilities.

Spring is here, and love is in the air--as well as in classified sections of daily and weekly newspapers across the county.

Classifieds, of course, have been around for a long time. But a new option being offered is breathing life into personal ads, once in danger of being eclipsed by singles clubs, computerized dating and a host of match-making services that sprang up in the ‘80s.

The new twist offers the warmth of your own personal message machine, along with its screening capabilities.

Now D/W/F’s (Divorced White Females), S/NS/M’s (Single Non-Smoking Males), G/H/M’s (Gay Hispanic Males) and thousands of others can place free ads using a toll-free number in classified sections and, if they choose, also leave personal greetings on voice mailboxes assigned to them.

Depending on the publication, messages are sometimes retrieved free of charge. But in any case, respondents use a 900 number, which can, if used enough, rule out the idea of a cheap date before it even begins.

Michele Buttelman, special services division manager in classified advertising at the Los Angeles Times, said voice personals are definitely a growth industry. The Times, she said, started offering voice mail less than a year ago. The ads are already so popular, they usually take up three full pages.

The Reporter, a Ventura-based weekly, has had such a huge response that, according to publisher Nancy Cloutier, all of its personal ads are now accompanied by voice mail.

“With the advent of the 900 number, it has really taken off because (a person’s) first point of contact is now by phone,” Cloutier said.

“With AIDS and everything, its very different nowadays--things are not as free and open as they once were. People are trying to screen each other as best as they possibly can. This has been a growing trend for over the last several years.”

So then comes the logical question: Just how well do the ads work?

We called some new-age lonely hearts and companionship seekers to find out how they fared. We culled our candidates from about two dozen ads that were spotted in daily newspapers and weeklies available in Ventura County.

Ultimately, six participants were chosen as a cross-sectional representation for this unscientific poll. And, if the truth be told, these were the only six who would talk.

And Now For Something Completely Different

Gothic Cyber Punk, 6’2”, 250, 24, seeking single female 18 to 30. The future is here. Are you ready?

So you read an ad and you are intrigued. Now you call a number and get a voice mail, where advertisers can offer more information about themselves and the sort of person being sought.

Brandon Walker, of Simi Valley, created a synthesized, humorous, and thought-provoking message on his computer which he then recorded onto the phone-mail greeting.

Part of it goes--and please imagine computerized enhancement, reverberation, multiple overlapping, phrase repetitions, and echo effects, over a computer animated voice (his own)--like this:

“He-he-llo, my name is Brandon, needless to say, even th-th-though I’mmmm weirddd, I’m not perverted or demented, I’m . . . JUST A LITTLE ON THE ODD SIDE SIDE SIDE SIDE.”

What can you expect from someone who lists his hobbies as: computers, blacksmithing and historical re-enactments, and who owns what he claims to be the only forge with bellows on the West Coast.

Walker placed this and other ads as a sort of dare, a challenge, a shot in the dark, in the hopes of meeting someone special.

“I’m definitely looking for a long-term relationship,” Walker said. During his phone interview, there seemed to be howling desert winds blowing in the background, but it was just the band “The Residents” playing an eerie tune.

“Looks are really secondary to me,” Walker said. “If my ad scares some women away well”--he sighs--”you see, the women I like to meet have a brain and a sense of humor. I’m weird.” Walker believes anyone who responds to his ad will appreciate him for his “weirdness.” So far there have been no takers.

Walker, who is working toward an associate degree in computers at Phillip’s College in Northridge, said he has had limited luck with pastads.

He made a date to have a drink with one woman with whom he got quite comfortable over the phone. She ended up canceling.

“Her Twelve-Step sponsor said that since I have a beer, maybe two or three times a month, she shouldn’t even meet me,” he said.

Walker did meet a second woman, a book publisher in her mid-forties with three kids. While she was not exactly the woman of his dreams, “she was interesting and we both had a good evening,” said Walker. And he ended up buying one of her books.

Walker thinks he may try again. “I’m pretty weird,” he said, again, “but placing ads are free, so, what the heck.”

Not Ready For Love

Back in town, divorced white female, 22, slim, broke, student, part-time Mom, seeking straight male/female friends, respects life, enjoys good conversation.

“I was looking to find people in my own situation,” said Jane W., a food science major at Ventura College and a half-time mom to her two young children. “I got thirty calls, only three from women, but mostly from men, older men.”

Jane is a self-described “open-minded intellectual” who does not enjoy the bar scene and was hoping to find friendship, not romance, through her personal ad. What she got, she said, were mainly “Sugar Daddy” responses--men looking for a poor girl, a hot time, and if it worked out, a live-in lover.

Jane returned the taped messages of five men, ages ranging from 20 to 29, and one woman. She met with three of the men, but found that stimulating telephone conversations led only to uneventful meetings.

“Over the phone we got along great,” said Jane, “but then when we met they all seemed to shut down. I think they were all looking for romance instead of a girl for a friend.” Jane said she didn’t feel she was able to communicate properly her intentions in four lines--the space provided free for her companion ad.

“I wish more single moms and dads closer to my age called,” said Jane, who indicated she probably would not place another ad. “I tried to scare off older men and guys looking for romance, but it didn’t work out.”

Money Talks

Single Male seeking attractive, upscale, affluent female who enjoys dining, social events, and travel.

Ken Curtis, who lives in Los Angeles but placed an ad in Ventura County, deciding to try his luck with women outside his area code. And women who, like himself, enjoy the benefits of wealth.

The voice-mail option was reassuring to him. The way women presented themselves on tape, he said, gave him a way of judging whether they were people he wanted to meet.

“The idea of listening to their taped messages,” he said, “first gave me the opportunity of screening people in my mind.”

Imagine his surprise when one lunch date offered to pay for both the meal and for his company. “I had images of Richard Gere (in American Gigolo) running through my mind,” said Curtis, 30, a self-employed entrepreneur, whose family owns businesses across the county.

“She was so offended when I became upset, but I was completely blown away by the idea.”

Curtis said he explained to the woman that he was not a “for-hire lunch date,” at which point she told him matter-of-factly that many of her friends met and dated escorts.

Curtis, who has been divorced for two years, placed his personal ad on a dare from friends, and because he realized that all the women he was attracted to were already taken.

“Most of the ladies I meet, who are bright, funny, and a little bit older, are married,” said Curtis, who prefers a more mature woman. So far he has dated three of nearly 30 women, ranging in ages from 38 to 55, who responded to his ad. He says it has all worked out quite well so far.

With two of the women, he said, he has had lunch, initial meetings that Curtis describes as “delightful.” He has lined up dates both of them, and “I’m playing phone tag right now with the third,” he said.

“They are all successful businesswomen in their own right,” said Curtis. “Two of the women I met are recently divorced, and the other has never married. One owns a public storage type of warehouse, the other a restaurant, and the third has her own accounting firm in Westwood.”

Curtis is pleasantly surprised that he has gotten along so well with all three women.

“At this point in my life, I want to meet someone who will become a great friend. I’d much rather have a companion who loves me and then have that develop into something that’s lasting,” he said. And older women, he believes, are used to dating in a “slower” way.

And what about the woman who offered him money for his services? According to Curtis, who now laughs about the incident, his friends thought his family would have been proud of the amount. And, yes, he plans on seeing her again.

Zen Dating

Unconventional Philosopher, S/W/M, 23, seeking smart, healthy and different woman for comfort and sanity.

After running the above ad for eight weeks, Rick Carrier received absolutely no response to what he thought was a sincere, heartfelt personal ad. “I’ve tried (voice mail) personals in three different papers over the last year,” said Carrier, a computer salesman at Sears in Ventura. “I’m not in a big hurry.” Yet he would certainly like to meet someone.

Carrier arrived in Ventura County by way of San Francisco, where he found the coffeehouse scene to be a comfortable and appropriate avenue for meeting like-minded woman. He is having trouble, he said, finding a social life in Oxnard, where he now lives.

“There is no single scene here for intellectuals. Most people I’ve talked to say I should go to church to meet someone, but I have philosophical reasons not to.”

Carrier thinks of his ads as messages in a bottle.

“The people in bars are not the class of people I want to meet,” said Carrier, who does not drink or smoke. Asked to describe his dream woman, he names three characters from television: Lilith from “Cheers,” Darlene from “Rosanne,” and Morticia from “The Addams Family.”

Carrier, who recently left the Coast Guard, is attending Ventura College where he is taking general education courses to obtain a teaching credential.

“I’ll probably try again,” he said, still sounding hopeful about personal ads. “I’ve looked into dating clubs . . . but most are too expensive.”

If at First You Don’t Succeed . . .

Div., mother of two, 37, Spanish Beauty, very independent, non-smoker, seeking tall, secure, professional man under 45.

Vera Hirrel, an office manager and Ventura resident, has been running ads for years. Through them she has meet met a variety of “nice” men, two of whom became year-long companions.

When most of the local papers began offering the voice-mail option, she ran another personal ad, but chose not to include a taped message. Hirrel decided she would get a better sense of someone through their letters.

She ended up with nearly fifty responses.

“Most letters were very sincere,” she said. “It seemed that most men wanted a long-term relationship, with kids.”

Apparently, most of that sincerity wasn’t worth the paper it was printed on.

When Hirrel did finally find Mr. Right, it wasn’t through an ad, and he turned out to be someone who started out as Mr. Not-Yet-Quite-Right.

By chance Hirrel met an Australian man who had just gotten out of a six-month marriage. “We got along well, but he didn’t think I was ready for anything long-term, and he returned to Australia for a fresh start.”

He returned a year later to see if Hirrel was still unattached and left his business card on her desk at work.

She is quite happy in her relationship, but said, “If I were single again, I would try the singles ads and the dating clubs again.”

. . . Try, Try Again

Attractive, D/W/F, early forties, enjoys arts, movies, travel and having fun, seeks sincere man for lasting relationship.

For Kathy S., voice mail seemed to offer a better screening process than other methods she tried. But apparently it wasn’t quite good enough.

Kathy, 45, a talkative and personable mother of two who is employed as a pension administrator, has placed ads in different papers and joined several dating clubs. Although her efforts have resulted in some nice dates, none turned into the lasting relationship she wanted.

The usual scenario, she said, finds her getting along famously in the initial phone call she has with her would-be suitor. It is only after she meets them that she discovers the undesirable emotional baggage they are hauling around.

“One fellow was going through a divorce, but he was still living with his wife in the same house,” said Kathy.

“As it turns out, this fellow and the soon-to-be ex-wife were not only living in the same house, but also with--now get this--her new fiance. “ And , the fiance was this guy’s boss.”

She suggested to the man that this live-in situation might be adding to his problems, but he assured her that it was a civilized arrangement. There was no second date.

Kathy pressed on and met more men, with more attachments. She prefers men who have been married before and have children because of the commonality of their mutual experiences. But she wishes she did not continue to meet what she referred to as “cases.”

One case in point was the gentleman who claimed he had demoted himself from grocery store manager to produce clerk so that his soon-to-be-divorced wife would not have access to his $2.5 million estate.

“This guy also said that he was, amongst other things, a street chaplain, and some gang was trying to extort money from him,” said Kathy. He then explained that he signed over all his property to his wife in order to prevent the gang from getting any money. The story made her dizzy. She did not call him back.

Yet Kathy stays upbeat. She will continue using a dating service in Ventura, she said, and will place more ads in the future. In the meantime, she hopes to improve her screening process.