Flaked Out? Just Say ‘No’

ADVICE TO THE FLAKES:

* “Keep only one source of information--one day-runner or appointment book,” says Helene Liatsos, professional organizer.

* “Flakes get better only by having the experience of being held in high regard by a group of people or another person. Then the flake knows that without his or her presence at a party, something is indeed missing,” says Dr. Damon Wolfe, psychiatrist.

* “Don’t overextend yourself. Don’t make commitments you can’t keep. It’s easier to say ‘no’ right away, and I learned you can say ‘no’ and people will still like you,” says Denise, an ex-flake.

ADVICE TO THE FLAKED:

* “Cut them out of your life. Over time, the stress and heartache of dealing with them is not equalized by the benefits you get from that friendship,” says “Dan,” ex-flake.

* “If you’re free on a Saturday night, start calling all your friends about 3 or 4 in the afternoon and make lots of different plans for the same night. Or invite nine or 10 of your friends to the movie theater, and maybe one will show up,” says Barry Sobel, comedian.