I’m a Recession Victim and I’m Taking It Very Personally : The company says the layoff is strictly business. That doesn’t assuage the feelings of doubt, lack of self-worth and betrayal.
“Due to economic conditions within the industry . . .” I heard the words, but couldn’t believe them.
” . . . and the recent slowdown in the business environment . . .”
I knew that sales had slowed to a trickle, but I didn’t think it would come to this.
” . . . I regret to inform you that we must terminate your service with the organization.”
The personnel representative went over the administrative details, then my former boss sealed the transaction: “Please understand that this is strictly business, nothing personal.”
In fact, there is nothing more personal than taking away someone’s ability to make a living. Not only do most of us derive personal satisfaction from what we do, our jobs provide us with the very means of existence. Take away a working person’s income, and you take away self-worth and self-esteem. My line of work is not exciting to most people: One lady at a Memorial Day barbecue listened to me describe what I do, then said, “How boring.” Writing technical manuals may be uninteresting to most people, but it pays--well, paid--the bills, and I enjoy it.
There were six of us laid off in the Santa Ana office, and two other staff members laid off in the field. After we received the news, we spent the next half-hour gathering our personal belongings and saying goodby to co-workers. The survivors were sympathetic, but in a few short minutes, we, the victims, had gone from being co-workers struggling together to make the company work to “former employees.” Understanding as our co-workers were, they were also relieved that it wasn’t them.
I went to my father’s house for dinner that evening, and my siblings and parents agreed that this was the latest in a series of bad decisions that the company had made. This is the line that family is supposed to take. However, the words “strictly business” stayed with me, and I knew that the management of the company is trying desperately to keep it afloat. Much as I would have preferred to contribute to that effort from the inside, and as valuable as I may consider that contribution, I understand the business decision to lay people off.
Despite that understanding, I was left with a feeling of betrayal. At the heart of the employer-employee relationship is a fundamental agreement that the employee will receive wages in exchange for services. All of us who were laid off last month provided those services to the satisfaction of our employer, but they broke the agreement. The rules have changed. Being a good employee is no longer good enough.
Friends wished me well and assured me that I would find a job quickly. Offers of free meals were extended and accepted, and all expressed a sincere desire to do whatever they can to help me through. Privately, I questioned every career move I have made since college, and wondered what I could have done differently to prevent the current situation. Perhaps I should have worked harder at the marriage that dissolved in the mid-80s; then I decided that my current unemployment is probably unrelated to our divorce.
I mentally calculated my bills, and I’m glad that I paid off my car and reduced my credit cards. I am hopeful that I’ll be able to find work soon, and that the little savings I have will carry me through. In the middle of the night, I wake up startled with the realization that my income has been reduced to the level of unemployment, however, and momentary panic sets in. The feeling of losing control returns for a bit, until I pick up the classifieds the next day and talk to headhunters, trying to regain my confidence.
By all accounts, the company I worked for is not alone in its decision to lay people off; it is indeed a widespread local phenomenon. And as I continue to look for work, I find that jobs in my field are still remarkably scarce or seemingly nonexistent. According to the media, however, nationwide unemployment is actually decreasing. For me--and others still out of work--the statistics and forecasts are small comfort.
