You try it first and let me...

You try it first and let me know how it works out: The latest L.A. Recycler carries an ad that says: “TATOOS, free, as demonstration for apprenticeship program. . . . “

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Sounds more like a certain couple in Washington, D.C.: “King of L.A.,” Steven Wolfson’s new play at the downtown Angelus Plaza, is described as the story of “a glutton and his power-hungry wife (who) overthrow the government and are crowned King and Queen of Los Angeles.”

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The dog-eat-dog world of lifesaving: How fierce was the national junior lifeguard competition in Hermosa Beach? Syrus King, a 13-year-old who placed fourth in a paddleboard contest, told The Times’ Kim Kowsky: “It was bad. Everybody grabs your board and tries to pull you back. Everybody wants to place.”

At the end of one paddleboard race, another contestant reacted angrily because he had been held back by Bill Richardson, a judge. “I was just trying to keep him from being hit,” explained Richardson, pointing out that the youth’s paddleboard had become wedged between two others. But the boy, in a strange variation on the old Charles Atlas ads, threw sand in Richardson’s face.

The kid never would have tried that with one of those tough “Baywatch” babes.

Do you know the way to say L.A.?Here’s another luminary--in addition to Theodore Roosevelt and Arlo Guthrie--who mispronounced our pueblo’s name: Bugs Bunny.

Eric Gilliland of L.A. recalls a cartoon in which the smart-alecky rabbit is atop a moving train when “he runs into a big cloud of smoke from the smokestack. All you see are his feet and he says, ‘Hmmm, we must be going to Los Ange-leeze.’ ”

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Their love was on a collision course: CHP Officer John Bavetta and L.A. County Sheriff’s Deputy Candace Dean married at the same romantic spot in La Canada Flintridge where they met--the scene of a traffic accident.

A year ago, Dean, 32, was responding to a call when another driver pulled in front of her and the two collided on Foothill Boulevard. Bavetta, 47, who was off duty, stopped to help.

Dean, by the way, arrived for the ceremony as she left the scene of that accident. In an ambulance. With siren screaming.

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Framed: For the amusement of all you grammar police out there, we recently ran a photo by Cindy Lieberman of a store sign that seemed incorrect (see photo).

Now comes an explanation from Roy Hollingdrake of We Frame It, a Pacific Palisades-based art and frame company. The shop in question is the firm’s second, he said, so he couldn’t decide whether to attach TWO or TOO to the name. Also, it’s “in Thousand Oaks, which many people refer to as T.O. So we decided to amalgamate all three ideas into WE FRAME IT TO.”

Toodle-oo.

miscelLAny:

The running gag on the old “Jack Benny Show,” involving a mythical train conductor who cried, “All aboard for Anaheim, Azusa, and Kook-amonga!” has been memorialized in a sense. The Rancho Cucamonga Quakes baseball team has a sculpture of Benny outside its stadium.