<i> Mon Dieu! </i> Cheese, Chips, Apples Trip Eurocrats : European Community: Setting uniform marketing rules for all 12 nations proves to be full of pitfalls. But the process continues.

It has been, well, to put it mildly, rather embarrassing.

First, there was the flap over plans by European Community bureaucrats to regulate, of all things, the noise of lawn mowers.

Then the French nearly took to the streets at the thought of limits on bacteria in their cheese.

Britons were offended by a possible ban on their favorite pub munchies, prawn cocktail-flavored potato chips.

Danes were furious when told their dainty Ingrid Marie apples were too small, but finally gave in.

All in all, it hasn’t been easy for the community, in fashioning a single market, to arrive at common standards for the thousands of products sold in the dozen Western European nations.

The effort has been fraught with mistakes (oops, flavored chips won’t be barred from English pubs after all) and misunderstandings (yes, the French can still have their unpasteurized cheeses).

It also has aroused suspicion that non-elected Eurocrats are meddling in the personal lives of citizens, and has spurred opposition to plans for European political union.

EC leaders, anxious to remain on course to unity, agreed last December to rein in the rule-makers. But the work continues because different product standards in member nations can hamper the flow of trade in the single market inaugurated Jan. 1.

Work is under way by several standards-setting groups on about 10,000 technical rules that cover everything from toys and tractors to work clothes, medicines and telecommunications equipment.

The aim is to make it easier for businesses, whether from Europe or elsewhere, to sell the same dolls, jams, lawn mowers or pipe fittings in all member nations.

Without communitywide standards, companies might have to produce separate designs for each country.

Members are urged by the EC constitution to respect each other’s regulations. In a famous case involving the French liqueur Cassis de Dijon, an EC court ruled that a product sold legally in one of the 12 cannot be barred in another.

Beyond that, the community’s executive agency, the European Commission, has tried to make common technical rules for all. Much of the grumbling about Eurocrats resulted from its initial efforts, which were excruciating in detail.

Take tractors.

A 461-page document tells how to make an EC-approved tractor, including a well-padded driver’s seat adjustable “for persons of different mass.” Diagrams are included.

Take jam.

A 1979 measure says 35 ounces of jam must contain at least 12.25 ounces of fruit pulp. Some exceptions: 8.75 ounces for black currants, rose hips and quinces; 5.25 ounces for ginger and 2.1 ounces for passion fruit.

P.S.: Carrots, rhubarb stalks, tomatoes and sweet potatoes are classified as fruits for the purposes of EC jam-making.

Take lawn mowers.

A 15-page regulation sets permissible levels of noise for mowers of various cutting widths.

It requires the following to be done before a test: The engines must be warmed up. All grass must be removed from the collector. The test area must be flat and dry. The measuring surface must be shaped like a hemisphere.

That set of conditions was drawn up after some manufacturers complained that Germany’s strict noise rules were keeping their mowers out.

By the mid-1980s, the effort to make the community run on single standards had become almost too much.

Overwhelmed by work, the commission turned to outside agencies for help. It also decided to keep new standards to a minimum and forgo the highly detailed rules of the past.

If a company makes a product that conforms to EC rules, it can mark the package CE, the initials of European Community in French, Spanish and other languages.

Despite efforts to streamline, the EC bureaucracy still encounters opposition and ridicule.

Some of the fiercest battles are over standards for food, not surprising on a continent of culinary treasures.

French farmers were furious about efforts to set common standards for the permissible level of bacteria in cheeses. They said it would be the ruin of Brie and Camembert made with raw milk.

Prince Charles, heir to the British throne, declared that bureaucratic rule-making was spreading through Europe “like an uncontrollable bacteria.”

EC officials insist the cheese furor was caused by a misunderstanding, maybe even a misprint, in the initial proposal. The standards were virtually identical to French rules, they say.

“It was much ado about nothing,” said Gerard Kiely, spokesman for the community. “There was never a threat to any traditional cheese.”

The fuss over Britain’s prawn cocktail-flavored chips was blamed on an oversight.

Neither the British government nor industry groups told the EC to put the flavoring on an approved list. When the mistake was discovered, the flavoring was quickly added.

“It was a bit unfair,” an EC bureaucrat groused.