Teen Culture Cited in Dating Violence

Researchers are at a loss to provide a definitive explanation for teen-age dating violence, though many see it reflected in the sexual stereotypes that permeate American youth culture in its music, movies and videos.

“Think of this rap music, in which women are denigrated, where it’s OK to be called a bitch--all of this has an impact,” said Shelly Gold, a therapist with Adolescent Treatment and Family Therapy Services of Montgomery County, Md.

Most counselors and therapists, however, place a large part of the blame on pressures teen-agers feel to have a boyfriend or girlfriend.

“These girls feel like it’s their job to get a boyfriend and hold on to him, and all their self-esteem is through him,” said Judith Feldt, a victim advocate with the Anne Arundel County (Md.) state’s attorney’s office. “That’s why they never talk about it to anyone; that’s why so little of this reaches the courts, where it belongs--they don’t want to lose that boyfriend.”

Though counselors occasionally encounter instances of girls hitting boys, they say the vast majority of batterers are male. Boys who batter typically exhibit insecurity, a tendency to deal with conflict through violence and the need to exert power and control, they say. In some communities, the problem is exacerbated by the culture of drugs, violence and poverty, according to counselors.

Many therapists said dating violence among teen-agers and preteens often falls through the cracks of the legal system because the girls are too young to stay in battered women’s shelters and too old to be aided by child protective services workers, who focus on young children victimized by members of their own households.

Schools vary widely in their recognition of the problem. A few states, such as Minnesota, have made dating violence prevention a mandatory part of the systemwide curriculum. In Virginia, some teachers include sessions on dating violence in the elective Family Life Education courses.

Gradually, school officials and others are perceiving the special tragedy of abusive relationships among the very young, said Janice Thomas, a school guidance counselor who has been helping Lynn Kenny.

“It’s one thing to have adult women who stay with a batterer because they’re married, or have kids and are economically dependent,” Thomas said. “But it’s so depressing to me to hear young girls who already think they’re trapped.”