Unwed Father May Halt Custody Bid Over Concern for Son

A day after being denied guardianship of his 2 1/2-year-old son, an unwed father expressed disappointment and anger Tuesday but indicated that he may halt his legal fight for custody to spare the boy any further emotional trauma.

Mark King, 24, said he will have to decide “how much more trauma it’s going to cost my son” if he appeals Monday’s decision by Juvenile Court Judge Michael D. Wellington.

Even if King makes an appeal, his attorney said his chances of overturning the decision and gaining custody of his son, Michael, are remote.

At a news conference near a bay-front playground where he sometimes meets his son for supervised visits, King lashed out at John and Peggy Stenbeck, the San Diego couple who have cared for Michael since birth and were given guardianship by Wellington.

“They’ve been playing a lot of mind games with him” by not telling the boy that King is his birth father, King said.

He complained that would-be adoptive parents such as the Stenbecks are able to find “loopholes to take other people’s children away from their family.” He called such legal procedures disgusting.

“This is very sad on our country that this is allowed to be done,” said King, an assembly line worker from Prescott, Ariz., who was 21 when he impregnated his 15-year-old girlfriend. Michael’s mother, who is now 18, favors the Stenbecks in their attempt to adopt Michael.

Wellington awarded Michael’s guardianship to the Stenbecks on the grounds that the child would be psychologically harmed if he was taken from the only home he has known.

King’s attorney, Monica Vogelmann, said his chances of overturning the decision on appeal are slim because the determining factor would be whether Michael’s best interests are served by staying with the Stenbecks or being sent to live with the father he knows only as someone who occasionally visits his family.

“You don’t have to be a lawyer or rocket scientist to see that Mark is not in a strong position to develop a relationship with his child,” Vogelmann said.

Vogelmann was more angry than her client over Wellington’s decision. “We thought in America you had the right to a relationship with your child,” she said. “Apparently, we were wrong.”

Meanwhile, John Stenbeck, 35, a mid-level manager with Price Club, and Peggy, 34, a homemaker, were exultant over Wellington’s decision. “I’m pleased that the court finally looked at Michael’s best interests,” Peggy Stenbeck said.

Wellington’s decision requires that the Stenbecks continue to allow visitation by King. The extent of the visitation will be decided by Wellington if King and the Stenbecks are unable to reach an agreement.

King, who has been seeking custody of Michael since weeks after his birth, said he wants overnight and unsupervised visits, which the Stenbecks have refused. “I guess we’ll get to that when we get to that,” Peggy Stenbeck said.

Because of a 1992 shift in state law, the Stenbecks’ bid to adopt Michael was rejected by the Juvenile Court in March because King objected. The Stenbecks are appealing that rejection. However, even if the Stenbecks are denied the right to adopt Michael, the guardianship will still be in effect.

The Stenbecks arranged to adopt the child of King and Stephanie Harman while Harman was pregnant. King, who has a history of drug and alcohol abuse, initially agreed to the adoption but later attempted suicide. While recuperating, he decided he wanted custody of Michael.