COMMENTARY : Don’t Read This If You Aren’t a Nielsen Family

For the rest of this month, you and viewers like you in 116,999 other TV homes will all be telling Nielsen what you watched. Here are some friendly suggestions.

What?! Yours is NOT a Nielsen household? That means YOURS is one of the nation’s 94.1-odd million TV homes that Nielsen WON’T consult. Hey, stop reading this! You just don’t count. Or, rather, Nielsen doesn’t count YOU. Consider yourself a couch potato non grata. Now go channel-surf on THAT!

OK ... now, where were we?

Oh yeah. Starting Nov. 4, it once again became “sweeps” time, one of four annual periods of intensive scrutiny by Nielsen Media Research to gather ratings not only for the broadcast and cable networks, but also at the local level in 211 TV markets across the nation.

To do all this, Nielsen’s 17,000 metered homes (4,000 of which provide the widely reported Nielsen Television Index figures) will be augmented by another 100,000 households in which viewers will jot down in Nielsen diaries what they tune to.

You, the Nielsen chosen, have been randomly picked, your identities kept secret. We’ll just call you “Nielsen families.” You know who you are.

You should also know that each of you represents a small town’s worth of us who have no vote. And that, particularly during November, the fate of every TV show--and TV overall--could be in your hands (at least the one that holds the clicker).

Invisible though you may be to TV programmers, they’ll be trying extra hard to woo you through Dec. 1. That’s because the more Nielsen says you watch a given network or station, the more that program source can charge its advertisers. So, expect lots of fabulous movies and magnificent specials goosing up the schedule, a grand exercise in what the trade calls “stunting.”

But all you Nielsen families, why don’t you try a little stunting in return?

Bypass the one-shot wonders and other “sweeps” seductions. Instead, take a fresh look at regular series vying for the long haul. Then break out of your viewing rut and sample some series you’ve neglected until now.

For instance, tear yourself away from NBC’s “Empty Nest” and “Nurses,” which you’ve already told Nielsen you’re crazy about, and give “Front Page” a try. That’s the Fox Broadcasting magazine show sitting at the very bottom of the Nielsen pile.

Or, in that same Saturday hour over on CBS, try “Harts of the West,” a rollicking comedy about a family’s dude ranch that’s had a rough ride ratings-wise so far this season.

Or, over on ABC, give the brand-new “Paula Poundstone Show” a look-see. Risking a hybrid format somewhere between talk and variety, this iffy program will need time to get its act together. Nielsen families: Why don’t you buy Paula a little patience from the network by plumping her ratings from the get-go.

Also way down the Nielsen list is “Bakersfield, P.D.,” a Tuesday show that most recently was ranked 83rd out of 86. This new Fox entry is a bent, shrewd comedy about a small-town police squad. Despite criminal neglect from Nielsen viewers like you, Fox has boldly extended “Bakersfield” to 22 new episodes. Reward that show of faith by tuning in this month.

While ABC gets the ratings glory every Friday, NBC persists with the series everybody says they’ve been yearning for: chock full of values, friendship and community. Well-performed and beautifully produced, it’s also entertaining. But ranked No. 82 most recently, this hour drama about a high school football team should be retitled “Against ‘Family Matters.’ ” Better boost “Against the Grain” before it gets cut.

But these aren’t the only series that warrant your attention. It’s simple, Nielsen families: The shows that need help are the shows you aren’t watching--and maybe never have.

So, mix it up a little. Spread it around. Give it up this month for the shows that need a helping hand.