Some Tips for Parents to Help Keep Youths Away From Drugs

What can parents do to help their children steer clear of drugs?

In fact, quite a bit.

In last week’s column, I explored evidence indicating that drug abuse among children and teen-agers is worse than most people realize. Today, I will offer some methods of prevention.

First, start early. Look for opportunities to explain to your children at an early age that drug use is dangerous and illegal. Echo this view throughout the child’s life.

Teach by example. If you don’t want your kids using drugs, then don’t be seen doing so yourself. This sounds easy enough. But on the subject of alcohol, this edict may bring up a concern about hypocrisy among parents who drink responsibly but who don’t want their kids to drink at all.

Here’s the best compromise I can think of: If you drink, explain why it’s riskier for younger people to drink (for one, the younger the drinker, the greater the risk of addiction). Then explain what precautions you take to drink responsibly--no more than one drink per hour, always on a full stomach, never as a source of comfort or escape, and so on.

It’s also effective to set up a code of behavior concerning drugs; this can also work for other areas of frequent conflict between parents and teen-agers such as dating or going out with friends.

Include the rewards for obedience and punishments for disobedience, too. Discuss these rules and consequences with your child, and try to reach agreement on their fairness; your children will be more likely to support a system that they feel they helped devise.

Then post the code of conduct in a highly visible spot in the home, such as the refrigerator. Be sure to enforce the rules consistently, and don’t forget to thank the child for obeying: “Thanks for coming home on time” or “I see you mowed the lawn before going out, and I appreciate it.”

In addition, encourage the child to resist any peer pressure to try drugs, and help him or her devise ways of saying no. Role-playing can help; it will enable him or her to feel more practiced and comfortable if such a situation really occurs.

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No matter what your child’s age, it’s crucial to know his or her whereabouts at all times. Have the child tell you a destination before leaving, and demand a phone call if the destination or return time changes.

Keep track of your son’s or daughter’s friends, too, since social pressure is a common lure to drugs for youth. Insist on meeting any new friends and make time to have a brief conversation with them.

Keeping a list of the child’s friends’ phone numbers is wise, too.

As in any battle, it’s important to know the enemy. So be able to talk about drugs comfortably and knowledgeably with your kids, paying special attention to the dangers. The reference or parenting sections of most bookstores offer excellent books that will educate you and guide you through the Big Talk.

Kids often turn to drugs because they have no other hobby that interests them. So get your child involved in sports, music, art, writing or another activity.

Above all, establish a rapport with your child that makes him or her feel comfortable in talking to you about problems, fears, hopes, achievements--anything. Too often, children try drugs to escape problems they don’t discuss.

Head that off by regularly setting time aside to “catch up” on his or her life. In my family, for example, we were always together for dinner, and hashed out the day’s events there.

Schedules are trickier these days, but try to have a calm family dinner (without the TV on) at least twice a week for as long as your son or daughter lives at home.

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Once you’ve taken these steps, monitor your child with an easy checklist devised by the U.S. Department of Education. It outlines some glaring warning signs that your child may be involved with drugs, including:

* Physical evidence of drugs or related items--powder, pills, hypodermic needles, smell of incense or similar cover-up odors.

* Symbols of drug culture, such as drug-related books or magazines, T-shirts or hats with slogans, conversation or music about drugs.

* Symptoms, such as memory lapses, inattention, slurred or unclear speech; an unclean appearance is also a tip-off.

* Poor school performance, as evidenced by a drop in grades, increased truancy or tardiness.

* Changes in friends.

* Changes in behavior, especially irritability, withdrawal, secretiveness or hostility.

* Possession of a lot of money or expensive items and clothing.

* Less interest in usual activities.

For more information, get “Schools Without Drugs,” a handbook distributed free by the U.S. Department of Education; (800) 624-0100.

If you think your child may already be using drugs, the National Institute on Drug Abuse ((800) 662-HELP) can refer you to a local agency for help.

Mary Laine Yarber teaches English at Santa Monica High School.