‘Recovered’ Memory
In response to John Hochman’s commentary, “ ‘Recovered’ Memory’s Real Victims,” Nov. 18: I have some personal views to share.
When a person is sexually abused by a trusted family member, the victim must repress the memories to survive. It would be impossible to eat your morning cereal sitting across the table from the man who forced you into sexual acts the night before, when you were too young and innocent to tell him not to touch you that way.
The child experiences very strong emotions of terror, confusion, guilt, shame and humiliation. When the memories of abuse are repressed, so are the normal memories surrounding the incident. This leaves adult victims with gaping holes in their childhood and a lack of a sense of self.
In my personal recovery, I asked my father to tell me what he had done to me as a child. He described two scenes to me, both of which had been repressed by me, in accurate detail and matching exactly my recovered memories of those two incidents. The work that victims do to recover repressed memories is not only to have an understanding of what physically happened to them, but also to integrate the strong, sometimes overwhelming emotions that were also blocked as a child.
LINDA FIELD
Sherman Oaks
* Hochman sarcastically attacks the entire process of abreaction of dissociated memories and emotions without any proof other than derision and statements made without any support other than his own.
To remember now in the present what was once experienced, but was too traumatizing to survive without a way of changing reality, is the basis of the trauma theory and abreaction therapy. Rather than being the “promotion” of “counselors with a master’s degree or less,” the trauma theory has its roots in the work of Alice Miller, an eminent psychoanalyst.
Abreaction therapy has helped and is continuing to help thousands to heal their lives from the despair of compulsive behaviors. Sometimes these behaviors are self-destructive, and sometimes these behaviors are destructive of others.
There is one point that Hochman and I share. That is the concern over the use of memories obtained through hypnosis and other techniques in criminal or civil proceedings. Having experienced abreaction myself in my own healing process, I have experienced firsthand the anger and rage at my own perpetrators. The essence of therapy is to be able to express this rage in a non-destructive manner.
It is the destructiveness of dissociated material that leads victims to become victimizers. When remembering becomes bound to vengeance, I believe there is a significant possibility of victimizing others. More importantly, vengeance is consuming. It consumed your perpetrator, which led to his perpetration, and if you embrace vengeance it will bind you to your own perpetration, when the goal of therapy is freedom and happiness.
STUART MARK BERLIN MD
Thousand Oaks
* Hochman is right. Now the tables are turned. The abusing trusted figures are the therapists with whom our loved ones now seek help. The mind-bending techniques used in recovering abusive memories are more than questionable.
The therapist who intruded into our lives was only interested in one side of the story. The false side. Out of seven kids only one claims parental abuse. None of us were ever contacted to verify facts. We were there too! Are our memories so faulty? Not a chance. Denial? You bet. What other answer would innocent people reply?
Meddling therapists need to somehow be held accountable for damaging intact families. This inadequate recovery movement lacks morality. Self-help authors encourage hate, rage and retaliation.
JEANNE PETERSEN
Agoura Hills