FAMILY : The Subtle Signs of Child Neglect

Children often can’t verbalize neglect. They don’t walk up to parents and say: “Take care of me.”

“It’s a very tricky situation because kids often interpret their parents’ neglect as something they have caused and something they deserve,” says psychologist Michael Schwartzman, author of “The Anxious Parent” (Fireside, $11). “They don’t know that things can be any different, and they’re afraid that if they say something, they’ll only make the situation worse.”

Kids usually react to neglect in one of two ways, Schwartzman says. Either they act wild and unruly in a frantic attempt to get attention, or they retreat inward, becoming sad and withdrawn.

Experts say signs of neglect include children who are under-dressed, who have poor hygiene, who frequently complain that they are hungry or ill, and who appear excessively tired or burdened.

“You also need to look out for children who appear sullen or lonely, who always want to be at your house and never want to go home,” says Dale Atkins, a New York psychotherapist who specializes in family and child development. “These children could be deprived of the basics, like adequate food or clothing. Or they could be lacking proper emotional care.”