Can’t Take Monogamy? Blame It on Biology

In his aptly titled autobiography “A View from Above,” basketball great Wilt Chamberlain estimated he “made love to” approximately 20,000 women by the time he was 50.

Retired machinist Frank J. Spiegel, 89, so far has made love to only one.

“Don’t ask me why,” shrugs Spiegel, who lives in Costa Mesa with Jeannette, 85, his wife of 70 years. “The only thing I can figure is that I found a woman born in the right month. I don’t know about this biology, but I do believe if two people are born in certain months that kind of match up, then they’ll stay together.” (She was born in March; he in July.)

Why some couples stay married till death do them part has been debated for eons. But with new findings from the National Institute of Mental Health of a possible chemical basis for monogamy--described by biologists as lifelong pairing--the debate is slowly changing course.

In a new book called “Anatomy of Love,” New York anthropologist Helen Fisher agrees there may be reasons in nature to explain “the mysteries of mating, marriage and why we stray.”

Many human mating traits and tendencies, says Fisher, are inherited. But monogamy is probably not one of them. “Monogamy is rare in mammals because it is not normally to a male’s genetic advantage to remain with one female when he can copulate with several and pass more of his genes on to posterity.”

But sometimes the environment, size of the litter, or helplessness of the young demand the cooperative lifestyle that monogamy and shared parenting provide. Fisher found that was the case among red foxes she studied:

“The mother must feed her kits constantly for several weeks. She will starve to death without a mate to (help her).”

But, like many other monogamous mammals, the red foxes are only monogamous only until the kits are old enough to fend for themselves.

While more humans with children stay together than those without, there is no biological necessity for them to do so.

“From a Darwinian perspective,” suggests Fisher, “couples with no children should break up.”

Modern life, especially the trend that finds more women in the workplace, may pose new challenges to the future of monogamy for men and women, she says. Because women with jobs often have more financial autonomy, they may be less dependent upon partners for child care and other needs.