The overturned big rigs, the freeway spills,...

The overturned big rigs, the freeway spills, the tailgaters, the pistol-packing drivers . . . : We assume the Auto Club had the average local commuter in mind when it came up with the theme for its entry in the Rose Parade: “Getting There Is an Adventure.”

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Well, the IRS loves to nail high-profile figures: “For heaven’s sake,” wrote Robert Jewell, who snapped the accompanying photo outside a Burbank church. “Is the Lord also accountable to the IRS? I have always thought the sky is the limit, but I see now the IRS is going farther. I don’t know how the audit came out. But we are all in trouble if the Lord lost!”

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Obviously this restaurant has some reservations about the holidays: Terry Kirker of Whittier, who sent in the accompanying ad, says: “We can’t wait to go on Arbor Day!”

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Now, you, too, can be hounded by cameras: Years ago, Roy Blount wrote a New Yorker short story about a man who discovers to his horror that there’s a hard-hitting daily newspaper devoted entirely to covering his life. The headlines, as we recall, were on the order of: “Joe Jones’ Bank Calls About Bounced Check,” “Joe Jones Misses Son’s Little League Practice Again” and “Joe Jones Arrives Home at 3 a.m.; Investigation Under Way.”

Now, at last, we have a possible video version: “A Day in Your Life--Hollywood Comes to Your Home,” offered by J. Mendez Productions of L.A.

Mendez’s brochure guarantees:

1--A conference “with the Producer/Director to outline a script.”

2--The setting up of “cameras, sound and lighting equipment.”

3--Professional outside services as needed, “such as clown, D.J. or comic.”

4--Editing, titles and music.

The costs start at around $1,500. But you’re free to run over budget.

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There’s no mention of the Bobbitts in this item: Our recent discussion of the “penile enlargement/lengthening” newspaper ad that is labeled “Men Only” reminded Hershl Hartman of L.A. of a turn-of-the-century story.

Hartman wrote: “A recently arrived East European immigrant, seeking to have his heirloom pocket watch repaired and dependent on illustrated signs, noticed a small storefront in a Yiddish neighborhood with a prominent drawing of a timepiece displayed in the window.

“Upon inquiring, he was puzzled to learn that the establishment was that of a moyel , a performer of ritual circumcisions.

“ ‘Then why do you display a watch?’ the immigrant asked.

“Came the reply, ‘What would you suggest I display?’ ”

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Signs of a Southern California season: The marquee at a surf shop in Santa Monica says: PRAY FOR SURF AND SNOW.

miscelLAny:

“Los Feliz” has a happy, Christmasy ring, but the man who gave his name to the area had a not-so-happy ending. Domingo Los Feliz, a wealthy rancher, was murdered by the lover of his young wife in 1836. After the amorous plotters were jailed, however, no punishment was meted out for a whole week. So a vigilante group snatched them from the jail and hanged them. . . . There was no public defender’s office then to plead for sympathy on the grounds that (1) the young woman was only lashing out in self-defense after years of abuse, (2) she was a victim of mind control by her Svengali-like boyfriend, or (3) that she was, after all, a widow.