Manners

* Having read “Multicultural Manners” (Voices, Dec. 27), I am appalled by the ignorant and prejudicial conclusion offered up by your writer, Norine Dresser.

In the scenario, when the American, referred to as Sandy, asks in a friendly manner as to her acquaintance’s first name, she is coolly rebuffed. The situation turns awkward. Dresser states that most Asians equate informality with disrespect and that Sandy was perceived to have behaved impertinently. She states that Sandy was wrong to have taken such liberties. What Dresser fails to acknowledge is that the acquaintance (Mrs. Rao from India) is new to America and has an equal responsibility to try to understand the customs of her host nation. A more proper response might have been for Mrs. Rao to reply that her culture preferred to use the family surname and that she might be more comfortable with using her first name after they know one another better.

When two different cultures meet, it is incumbent upon both to try to understand the other’s viewpoints and customs--that is the only way that we can learn understanding and tolerance.

TERRY CABORN

Newport Beach