PEOPLE : You Always Hurt the One You Love

Suppose you’re betrayed by your beloved, making you the hapless victim in a love triangle. At whom are you likely to be angrier--your philandering mate, your rival or yourself?

Your partner, hands down, says Eugene Mathes, a psychologist at Western Illinois University who queried 40 college students and published the findings in Psychological Reports.

In his survey of 20 men and 20 women, students rated themselves on probable anger and aggression toward each member of the triangle. While the partner received the most anger, the rival “is a real close second,” Mathes says.

His findings confirm several British studies of love-triangle murder cases “in which the victim is almost always the straying partner,” he says.

Why is the wayward mate the object of the most venom?

Mathes suspects it’s because he or she has betrayed the partner, but the third party has not. The stronger the betrayed love, the more fierce the anger.

In another survey, respondents told Mathes that they would rather lose a relationship to a rival who has a lot going in terms of income, brains, looks or a combination than to someone perceived as a loser.

“It’s just easier on the self-esteem,” he says.