No Word on Whether They Carry Batons

No doubt figuring that the world would be eager for the information--and also to provide relief from the river of TonyaGate stories--the Lillehamer Olympic Organizing Committee issued a release on trolls, the legendary little creatures of local legend.

Trolls are said to live in caves and come out and scare people to get food. They’re crotchety characters, the release said.

Some Norwegians claim: “We have had to fight with trolls because they are more stupid than us.”

Asked officially about trolls, Peter Ronningen, the LOOC’s deputy managing director, said: “They live in the mountains. They’re huge. And very old. The oldest is 2,000 years old.” Ronningen appeared to have a twinkle in his eye.

Are trolls dangerous? “No,” he said. “They are kind to people.”

Are they stupid? “Some of them.”

Have you seen a troll in person? “Oh, yes.” Pause. “But you have to be alone to see one.”

Trivia time: Where and when did Jack Nicklaus get his first check as a professional golfer?

Surfin’ with Tonya: From Leonard Shapiro of the Washington Post: “Wednesday night, NBC dredged up a 1992 interview with Harding, home videos of her skating at 13 and recycled tape of her encounter with the cop who wanted to tow her truck last week.

“If that’s what passes for journalism at NBC these days, maybe it’s time to surf somewhere else.”

Add TonyaGate: From Tony Kornheiser of the Washington Post: “There’s going to be a market for Tonya Harding in the same way that there is going to be a market for Amy Fisher, when she gets out of jail. That’s who Tonya is now: Amy Fisher on skates.”

Era of fear?John Kruk speaks almost wistfully about the days when no one paid any attention to the Phillies.

“We could go into a restaurant in almost any city and people didn’t know who we were,” he said. “It was kind of nice.”

No more. Philadelphia’s 1993 National League pennant and Kruk’s status as the poster boy for the scruffy team make anonymity virtually impossible . . . and Kruk finds it a bit frightening.

“Mitch Williams got death threats,” Kruk noted.

“Monica Seles got stabbed. Nancy Kerrigan got attacked. Tennis and ice skating? Those are passive, timid sports. So when you see things like that happen, it’s scary.

“People send you food or cookies. Do you eat them? It’s getting to the point where it’s hard to trust anybody. Players are going to be more and more reluctant to stop in a crowd.”

Good deal: Pittsburgh Post-Gazette columnist Bruce Keidan recounted a story told to him by Atlanta writer Lewis Grizzard, who was recalling his favorite Super Bowl story from his sportswriting days:

“A sportswriter assigned to cover the big game was approached by a lady of easy virtue in his hotel bar.

“For $50,” she says, “I’ll do anything you want.”

“Anything?” he asks.

“Anything,” she repeats.

“Here’s the fifty,” he says, reaching for his wallet, “go up to my room and write a column and a sidebar.”

Trivia answer: Nicklaus earned $33.33 in the 1962 Los Angeles Open at Rancho Park golf course.

Quotebook: Yogi Berra, upon hearing from his wife, Carmine, that she had just been to see “Doctor Zhivago”: “Oh, what’s the matter with you now?”