NBA Referee’s Stance Doesn’t Leave Mushroom for Doubt

Former NBA referee Earl Strom in his book, “Calling the Shots, My Five Decades in the NBA,” recalled working a college game at the old Madison Square Garden in New York.

“A woman sitting on the end line was giving me (grief) the whole game. Right near the end she stood up and yelled, ‘If you were my husband, I’d feed you poison mushrooms.’

“I said, ‘Lady, if I was your husband, I’d eat ‘em.’ ”

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Trivia time: Who holds the NCAA tournament record for highest career field-goal percentage?

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Sleepskating: Kevin Paul Dupont of the Boston Globe, writing about Boston’s slow start in a recent 4-2 loss to to Pittsburgh:

“The Bruins came out like 20 skating Barney Fifes.”

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Conventional wisdom: From Blackie Sherrod of the Dallas Morning News: “The late Jimmy Cannon wrote it several years ago, but it has never been more true than today:

“ ‘The trouble with the big leagues is that there aren’t enough big leaguers.’ ”

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Calling 911: Milwaukee pitcher Steve Sparks recently suffered a dislocated left shoulder in a most unusual manner. He was trying to tear a telephone book apart with his bare hands after a demonstration by a California motivational group called Radical Reality.

“This is one of the freakiest injuries I’ve seen,” trainer John Adam said. “And a bit annoying, because I had to look up a (phone) number later.”

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The Big O’s: Michael Jordan, who is now a minor leaguer, began his baseball career with the Chicago White Sox by going 0 for 14 in spring training. Did he ever have an 0-for-14 game in the NBA?

Jayson Stark of the Philadelphia Inquirer asked statistical whiz Harvey Pollack of the 76ers and he got a short answer: Get real.

Only two players in the NBA--Tim Hardaway, 0 for 17, and Rodney McCray, 0 for 15--shot so many blanks during Jordan’s entire career.

Jordan’s worst shooting night: a three for 17 in 1986-87.

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Queen who? Dizzy Dean, as the St. Louis Browns’ announcer, when the Queen of The Netherlands took a seat in the stands below him:

“I don’t know what all the commotion down there is, but it has somethin’ to do with a fat lady.”

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There’s a limit: Pittsburgh Manager Jim Leyland on Cincinnati owner Marge Schott throwing a birthday party for her St. Bernard, Schottzie, before a Pirates-Reds exhibition:

“I ain’t singing ‘Happy Birthday’ to a no dog.”

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Clip this: Orlando General Manager Pat Williams on the Magic’s rookie guard, Anfernee Hardaway:

“Five years from now, he’ll be the most exciting athlete in the game. Like with Magic Johnson, every time he touches the ball, you’ll hear the crowd oohing and aahing.”

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Trivia answer: UCLA’s Bill Walton, 68.6%, 1972-74.

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Quotebook: Hall of Fame pitcher Bob Feller on Jordan: “He’s not a natural hitter. He couldn’t hit a curveball with an ironing board.”