Youth / OPINION : ‘Teens Don’t Enjoy Being Stereotyped as Sex Fiends’

“Just say no./Just use a condom.”

“Wait until you’re older./Everybody’s doing it.”

The messages teen-agers receive about sex today are confusing. The result is a lost generation. Many teens have never received explicit guidelines regarding sexual behavior and, therefore, are setting their own standards.

The statistics on teen sexuality indicate that too many parents are not teaching their teen-agers to be responsible and that the educational system is not doing its job in this subject. According to a 1993 issue of Christianity Today magazine, every year, 1 million teen-age pregnancies occur and about 2 million new cases of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) are reported. Today’s teens also have to worry about disease more than their parents did: 20 years ago, there were four types of STDs among teens; today there are 30, including the deadly AIDS virus, HIV. Among 14 to 23 year olds, AIDS has increased 72% in the past two years, the magazine says.

There are, however, solutions to the problem of premarital sex. First, sex education needs to revamped, the message needs to be clarified. To promote abstinence and then hand out a condom is bewildering.

Condom distribution cannot replace sex education. Condoms are a bad idea and a dangerous cop-out. Among the general population, the magazine says the failure rate of condoms is 15%. Among teens, it is 18% to 20%. Even if properly used, condoms are not 100% effective against preventing transmission of HIV. Not only do they give users a false sense of security, but condoms also send the message that teens have no control over their sexual urges.

Arming teens with the facts isn’t enough. They must also be empowered by teaching abstinence and how to handle peer pressure. Only 17% of girls planned their first intercourse, the magazine adds. This suggests that a vast majority were pressured into having sex. If females (and males) were taught to handle high-pressure situations, they could become more comfortable asserting themselves and refusing sex.

Abstinence seems like an old-fashioned idea but it is still applicable in modern-day life. Sexual abstinence is not only practical, but also gives a feeling of freedom--freedom from worry about disease, pregnancy, and most of all, the loss of respect that can result from premarital sex.

This respect issue seems to be largely ignored in sex education. Sex is supposed to be the ultimate expression of love between two people who have high respect for one another. But too often sex becomes exploitation, used to gain power and status. A recent example is the Lakewood Spur Posse scandal, where young men accumulated “points” by sleeping with a number of young women. These women were used, then discarded. They were stripped of their dignity as they became another “point.” Young men should learn that a woman is a human being, not an object. Both sexes should have enough respect for themselves that they do not need to prove their worth by sexual activity.

My advice to parents and educators: Teen-agers need your support and guidance. We deserve your respect and do not enjoy being stereotyped as hormone-driven sex fiends. Unless these conditions are met, no amount of education will curb the spread of disease or reduce the number of teen pregnancies.

My advice to my fellow teens: Respect yourselves and just say no.