Abuse Takes Many Forms--Even Sarcasm
Re “Dr. Laura’s Life Lessons” (March 13): Laura Schlessinger is bright and funny, and one can benefit from much of what she has to say.
There is one trait I think she should lose: her apparent delight in sharpening her sarcasm skills on her callers.
A case in point: A young woman called and told her that she had lived with and married an abusive man and had a child with him.
Dr. Laura’s initial response was, “You knew the guy was abusive, yet you married him and made a baby with him? Good choice, real good choice.”
After this, the caller was possibly more troubled than before.
Dr. Laura appears to be a compassionate, well-intentioned professional. These callers are in pain and in need of assistance, not put-downs.
RUTH K. FRIED
West Hills
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Laura Schlessinger seems to have a lot of the qualities many good therapists have. For example, her Popeye-like “I am what I am” courage makes her a good role model for anyone who has a hard time being assertive.
Unfortunately, she seems to care more about using those who call her at KFI as unpaid straight men for her show than in trying to make sure they get the help they need.
It doesn’t take a lot of time or extraordinary perceptiveness to identify the things people do that get them in trouble.
The problem is that the most inept or self-defeating things people do usually represent attempts to solve important problems, and even the smartest solutions often have unforeseen or unavoidable consequences. That’s why a responsible, dedicated therapist will take the time to learn as much as possible about a person before offering advice.
Ironically, Schlessinger may be preaching the right sermon, but in the wrong church. Whatever relevance her ideas may have for people who behave “stupidly,” my hunch is that it is these people who allow themselves to be used by shoot-from-the-hip, love-’em-and-leave-’em media personalities.
SETH KNOEPLER
Los Angeles
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Your piece on Laura Schlessinger, whom I appreciate and admire on many scores, helped me put my finger on what was giving me a sense of inconsistency about her message.
Schlessinger urges women to take control of their destinies, which is excellent advice. She then insists that, in order to be decent parents, they abandon their careers to stay home full-time with their children.
These two points comprise a double message. As much as there is to be said in its favor, quitting work to stay home with children is arguably the single most disempowering decision women make.
If Schlessinger wanted to advocate for women and children simultaneously, she would use her considerable influence to lobby for a workplace in which both parents can work part-time.
MARGARET ECHEVARRIA
El Segundo