Multicultural Manners : Even Smiling Can Have a Serious Side

People are lined up at the DMV to have their photos taken for their identification cards and driver’s licenses. Russ Conner was behind the camera. Most people give him a great big smile when he asks them to do so. However, one day when he asked a Japanese man to smile, the man refused.

What went wrong?

The Japanese man didn’t smile because the picture was for a government document. In general, people in Japan smile when they are sad, happy, apologetic, angry or confused.

To smile would have meant that he did not take his driving responsibility seriously enough. Equating smiling with frivolous behavior may also be the reason why so few Japanese government officials are photographed with smiles, except when they are coached to do so for photos with American dignitaries.

Koreans have a similar attitude about smiling: One proverb goes, “The man who smiles a lot is not a real man.” Lack of smiling by Koreans has often been misinterpreted as hostility when Korean shopkeepers interact with non-Korean customers.

This philosophy is also the reason why newly arrived children from several different Asian countries refuse to smile when first having their pictures taken with the Easter Bunny or cartoon characters.

Rule: Americans smile primarily as an expression of friendliness. However, a smile changes meaning with cultures.

Norine Dresser is a folklorist and author of “I Felt Like I Was From Another Planet,” (Addison Wesley). Tell her your experiences c/o Voices.