Keeping Lid on White House Wedding

There are few things this country loves more than a good White House wedding. When Nellie Grant, daughter of Ulysses S., married Angerton Sartoris in 1874, throngs massed outside the mansion to glimpse the horse-drawn nuptial carriage.

The sight of a misty-eyed Lynda Bird Johnson on the arm of strapping Marine Capt. Charles Robb in 1967 briefly took the nation’s mind off Vietnam.

And who could forget those historical empty calories upon which the nation feasted in the form of a 400-egg, white cake baked in 1971 for Tricia Nixon?

But it’s been 23 long years since matrimonial bliss descended upon the White House, and America is itching for a hitching. Well, wait no more. On May 28, a happy couple is tying the knot at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.

It’s Nicole Boxer and Anthony Rodham.

Who?

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So they’re not exactly Grover Cleveland and Frances Folsom, but they do have some powerful Washington connections: She’s the 26-year-old daughter of California Sen. Barbara Boxer. He’s the 39-year-old younger brother of First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton.

It’s still a White House wedding, and that’s as good as it’s gonna get for awhile. Besides, it’s not like people have been lining up for a chance to say “I do” in the East Room. In 1992, Dorothy Bush LeBlond chose to hold her second marriage at remote Camp David.

Even Roger Clinton--a First Brother who has never been called shy, an aspiring singer with a movie venture called “Pumpkinhead II: Blood Wings”--even he turned down an invitation to wed in the presidential mansion. And it had nothing to do with the bride being eight months pregnant. Roger was “afraid it would turn into a media event.”

Then along came Tony and Nicole. Apparently they don’t share Roger’s fear. For one thing, they want a private wedding in the mother of all public houses.

The groom would not return phone calls. Ditto the bride. (Although she did tell the Marin Independent Journal she thought the whole thing was “going to be a kick.”)

Sen. Boxer’s office refers all wedding calls to the White House. The White House fellow who knows all about it is in Europe and his colleagues seem annoyed by the topic.

Then why choose the White House if you don’t want public inquiry?

“You have to see it from their side: This is their wedding day, “ one aide scolds. “Some people consider this the most important day of their lives .”

But wait a minute! All we want to know is who’s making the dress? What flavor is the cake? Who’s on the guest list? “That’s private,” another aide barks.

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So we brave a stiff wind on Capitol Hill to find Sen. Boxer, fresh from a news conference with actor Ted Danson. She agrees, reluctantly, to talk wedding, but only while walking briskly toward something more important at the Capitol.

“Just like any other mom, I want her to be happy,” Boxer allows. “There are lots of nice places to get married, but I can’t imagine a nicer place than the White House.”

It is here that we make an apparent faux pas: “What will the mother of the bride be wearing?”

“Ugh,” Boxer groans, shooting a look that suggests she would rather spend a year in a small room with Rush Limbaugh than discuss tea-length, knee-length or to-the-floor.

Just then Boxer bumps into Supreme Court Justice nominee Stephen Breyer, who is strolling to the Capitol, where he’ll be seeking confirmation.

“Congratulations!” she gushes, pumping his hand. End of wedding talk. The reporter--a “Who will act as best man?” query still forming on the lips--is given the elbow.

“You better drop this,” Boxer’s assistant snaps, glowering.

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What have we come to? Weren’t we treated the last time around to such tantalizing details as Tricia’s “super-special Priscilla of Boston” dress? Her bridesmaids’ “opalescent layered gowns of mint green and lilac with fluttery necklines and hems”?

And anyway, there is more to this than gray swallow-tailed cutaways and organdy. Boxer’s daughter is about to become the sister-in-law of the President of the United States. Doesn’t that afford the senator a certain leverage held by no other?

It’s one thing to take him on, as she says she did on NAFTA, when he’s just the President. It’s another thing when it means a seat at the card table in the kitchen next Thanksgiving.

“Officially, there isn’t any relationship,” Boxer says. “It doesn’t enter in when you are professional.”

Los Angeles political consultant Joe Cerrell saw it another way: “That sends a signal that the freshman junior senator from California might have more going with the White House than some of her senior colleagues. More credit to her!”

Just one other thing. Who’s paying for this shindig?

“The families are taking care of all costs,” the Boxer aide says icily.

Oh.

Well, some things you can’t keep secret: They’re registered at Macy’s. For those inclined to send a gift, the happy couple desires a Vitantonia Belgian waffle maker, a white, wood, tile-topped table and an ice bucket. Cash will also be “happily accepted.”