True Blue (and White) Dodger Fans

The Place: Dodger Stadium, 1000 Elysian Park Ave., Los Angeles; (213) 224-1400.

Atmosphere: A mixture of rabid Dodgers fans and people who think going to a baseball game is no different than going to the park with your friends. Constantly moving food hawkers yell “Hot dogs! Get your hot dogs!” over intermittent deafening crowd cheers.

Serving Up Style: Male ticket takers sport straw boaters with blue “Dodgers” hat bands, crisp white shirts and navy-blue ties; food servers wear blue visors that match blue aprons and blue-and-white pin-striped shirts. The young women who say “Your seat is over there” do so in blue-and-white miniskirts.

Customer Themes: The Dodger colors, everywhere. Children and infants turn out in blue-and-white jumpsuits or sleepers worn with matching blue or white bows, socks and shoes. For old men, it’s white squashy rain hats and dark blue parkas over light-blue shirts, navy pants and white Wallabees. Women wear bra tops or tank tops with coordinating shorts, flip-flops and sometimes, yes, blue socks. Young male hunks favor T-shirts tucked into shorts; for non-hunks, it’s T-shirts adorned with sentiments about beer and women pulled over beer bellies.

Hair Apparent: Women pull their ponytails or braids through the tops of visors or smash them under baseball caps. For the young male hunks, closely shaved dos encircled by bandannas. All others: sweat-matted and, of course, worn under caps.

Accessories: Fanny packs with “pack” worn over the stomach, binoculars, parasols, sunglasses with leashes, sunburned shoulders, Walkman headsets, programs in back pockets.

Cardinal Rule: When thou triest to find thy car in the sprawling, impossibly large stadium parking lot, thou shalt wander hopelessly in the hot sun for almost an hour, eventually imagining that thou seest mirages and bleached cow skulls.

Overheard: “Bunnnnnns? Bunnnnnns?”; “Nuts! Nuts! Nuts!”; “Pepp-uh-roni pizza! Pepp-uh-roni pizza!”; “Don’t walk so fast, I can’t keep up with you.”

Most Original Headgear: Apparently lacking the requisite baseball cap, a young male hunk fashioned a unique hat/sun deflector out of a cardboard food-carting tray.

Parting Statement: “Soda, everybody, buy your soda now! They’re full of ice now. You can’t beat that, now. Take your pick, now. I don’t care, now. I have no lines, now. I represent fast food, now.”