Trying to win the hearts and minds...
Trying to win the hearts and minds and, so on, of men: It had to happen. The doctor who runs the “men only” penis enlargement ads in newspapers (usually the sports pages) now has a competitor. The ad for the rival penis-enlarger says: “Compare the difference.”
To which Stan Cowan of Thousand Oaks asks:
“How?”
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When you’re posing, just pretend you’re stuck in traffic on the 405: For a donation of just $20,000 to the L.A. County Museum of Natural History, you can have a cast of your face and hands made for a mannequin that will sit at the wheel of a car in the new Petersen Automotive Museum. Sure, the casting takes about 45 minutes. But that’s no longer than the average commute for many motorists.
Likenesses have already been fashioned of some celebrities, including Jean Harlow, Jack Benny and Buster Keaton.
But we were stunned to hear that the museum has so far shunned L.A.’s most famous driver--one whose motoring exploits were saluted in the movie “Naked Gun 2 1/2” no less.
Zsa Zsa!
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Will that be a puncture or a blowout, sir?Herb Stern, meanwhile, found an ad that could inspire an interesting exhibit at an auto museum.
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We’d give 2-1 odds that it’ll be an entertaining event: Ben Elder noticed that a press release from the L.A. Children’s Museum announced a workshop this Sunday to be conducted by “children’s storyteller, author and bookmaker Sarah Rosenberg.”
Perhaps the phrase “maker of books” would raise fewer eyebrows.
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It’s cheaper than advertising in the personals: Norman Gotwetter noticed a sign in front of an apartment building that seemed to indicate that the manager hadn’t found Mrs. Right yet.
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But is climbing trees OK?When Pam Den Hartog bought some medicine for a friend, she was a bit surprised to see a warning on the bottle that said: “Avoid alcohol while taking this medication. . . . Caution using machinery.”
Neither boozing nor driving appeal to her friend, Laverne, who is a cat.
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Sacre bleu!Now we know why our junior high schoolteacher, Miss Valenzuela, gave us a “C” in French despite our protests. In Tuesday’s column we referred to the Maid of Orleans by her French name, “Jean” d’Arc. A caller asked: “You mean John of Arc?” We should have said Jeanne.
Oh well. Arrivederci.
miscelLAny:
In his book “Dream Palaces,” author Charles Lockwood notes that the actress wife of cowboy star Tom Mix deserves to be remembered as a real “trendsetter.” In 1924, Vicki Mix got what may have been the movie colony’s first nose job.
