Valley Commentary : The Place to Tune In for Some Really Weird Talk : ‘Men are addicted to the stinking, degenerate, ugly, filthy love of women.’ This blanket indictment is delivered along with the infomercials on KIEV.

You can run from the O. J. Simpson story, but escaping from it is next to impossible.

Talk shows on the Los Angeles airwaves, normally a smorgasbord of discussion topics, lately have been more like the International House of O. J.; the opinions are pretty much different flavors of the same dish:

* O. J. can’t possibly have done it. He’s too nice.

* Even if he did it, he has a really good explanation.

* Of course he did it. He’s a man, isn’t he?

* Even if he didn’t do it, he’s a bum for beating his wife.

* He’ll probably get convicted because of the news media.

* He’ll probably get acquitted because he’s famous.

What can you do if you’re tired of the talk, confused by the endless contradictory details about the murders, put off by the legal jabber by experts who treat the case like the World Cup instead of a search for the truth?

You can always listen to the Valley’s own radio station KIEV in Glendale. But you pay a heavy price by having to listen to some really weird talk.

KIEV mixes its talk shows with cooking shows, repulsive infomercials and a smattering of other programming. The hosts that I listened to either hadn’t heard about O. J. or were nobly refusing to acknowledge the tacky story, preferring to address deeper concerns.

The colloquy began in the morning with Roy Masterson. A Christian counselor, he specializes in the mysteries of sex and love. “The lustier men are, the more of a selfish slime is in there,” he explained to a divorced woman seeking guidance. He told a man: “You need to be saved from women.”

Other tidbits delivered to a troubled fellow: “The female loves and ruins the male.” “Men are addicted to the stinking, degenerate, ugly, filthy love of women.” And “It’s eating your soul out--you glorify in your awakened senses and submerge and wallow like a pig!”

Masterson’s listeners call in mostly to second his ideas. Many thank him for steering them toward abstinence. Some call for general advice, which he is able to dispense without actually hearing more than two sentences about their condition. One woman was having bad dreams. “You lack grace,” Masterson told her instantaneously. He went on to rail against anger that lurks in the soul too shamed to face the light of day, before ringing off as she said, “Yeah, yeah.”

In the afternoon there is Erroll Smith, who apparently studied elocution with Barbara Walters. Smith opened a recent forum with the question, “Who’s afwaid of the weligious wight?” This was during a week when the Minnesota Republican Party passed over its incumbent to nominate a fundamentalist gubernatorial candidate and in a year when Pat Robertson’s International Family Entertainment empire was trying to buy a cable channel for $40 million.

The free exchange of ideas comes to a crescendo when George Putnam takes the microphone. However, only one idea is being freely exchanged, namely Bill Clinton’s moral degeneracy. In a stentorian roar that might have suitably announced the Ten Commandments, Putnam conducts a two-hour rumor free-for-all.

“Gennifer Flowers,” he said in a rumble so deep you almost wanted to believed in him. “Now there’s a woman who’s got her finger on what that Slick Willie’s all about. A shame she was discredited by selling her story to the tabloids.”

Putnam’s listeners call up with charges that mix speculation with third-hand accounts of things being rotten in Little Rock. Could our airborne President have caught a whiff of KIEV the other night when he complained in the Air Force One phone interview about baseless personal attacks and political demagoguery on talk shows? Nah.

KIEV divides much of its remaining programming into 45-minute sales pitches. The commercial topics cover a spectrum, from how Kenyon’s Super Nutrient Anti-Oxidant Pills supposedly prevent strokes to the advisability of investing in gold bullion to the cars on sale right now at Colonial Honda.

These “shows” don’t include on-air discussion, of course. But they don’t last forever. Pretty soon you get away from the marketplace and back to the marketplace of ideas. The problem is, it isn’t clear which is more honest.

Anybody want to talk about O. J. Simpson?