This Festival Could Be Time for Learning

Pete is one of my best friends. Donald is one of his best friends. Chuck is one of Donald’s best friends. This is a story about Donald and Chuck.

They met at work. They hung out together all the time. They played a lot of softball, basketball and poker. More than a few times, they went to Vegas.

Pete and Donald were roommates. One evening, Pete came home and found Donald sitting in the living room. The place was dark and silent. Donald was depressed.

“What’s the matter?” Pete asked. Donald said nothing. Pete kept pestering him.

“Chuck is gay,” Donald finally said. (Knowing Donald, it may have been a more colorful term.)

There hadn’t been a single clue. Donald’s shock was understandable. And, as Pete quickly realized, now that Chuck was coming out of the closet, Donald had to be thinking that people would be wondering about him too.

“Well,” Pete finally said, “I guess you’re going to find out how good a friend you really are.”

*

I offer this tale because there’s a chance that some people who live in the Antelope Valley may learn something surprising about a friend, a neighbor or an acquaintance. This is especially true if they dare drop by the Antelope Valley Fairgrounds, the site of the community’s first Gay and Lesbian Pride Festival, which begins Friday at 5 p.m. and continues Saturday and Sunday.

These days, many Angelenos yawn at the news of a gay pride event. But the Antelope Valley? Even some gays seem surprised. After all, the distance between West Hollywood and the neighboring burgs of Palmdale and Lancaster is much farther than the map indicates.

It’s not just the fact that there is exactly one gay bar in the Antelope Valley. Rather, it is the reputation the region has developed for homophobia. This western outpost of the Bible belt is home of the church that produces “The Gay Agenda,” an anti-homosexual video that has received wide national circulation and has been denounced by gay activists. Many other churches also preach that homosexuality is an abomination.

Festival organizers thus are expecting to be greeted with some sort of protest.

The size and tone of the demonstration is anybody’s guess. If a protest occurs, festival organizers are hopeful that their response will be a model of civility. Don’t look for members of Queer Nation marching down California 14 chanting, “We’re here/ We’re queer/ Get used to it.” Instead, they suggest, gays are more likely to simply join hands in a silent show of solidarity.

Todd Penland of the Antelope Valley Gay and Lesbian Alliance suggests that the festival has two purposes. One is to demonstrate that gays and lesbians are indeed everywhere, not just in magnets like West Hollywood and Laguna Beach. But perhaps more important, he suggests, the point is to encourage gays in the area to take pride in their true selves--to get involved in their fledgling community.

The Antelope Valley, Penland suggests, is really more tolerant than its reputation.

“I never experienced any kind of discrimination,” says Penland, who lived in the region for six years before recently moving to Nevada. “I find it’s more based on how you feel about yourself. If you project yourself as ashamed or embarrassed, they’ll respond to that. If you have something to be ashamed about, they’ll go ahead and treat you badly.”

Then again, sometimes people get terrorized for no good reason. One Lancaster man was recently beaten in what law enforcement authorities describe as a “gay-bashing.” This happened not in the Antelope Valley, but in West Hollywood, which shows that hate is everywhere too.

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John Fletcher, a Mormon father of 11 who says his own effort to organize a protest against the festival has fizzled, believes that instead of hatred and violence, homosexuals should be approached with Christian understanding--to show them the error of their ways.

John, meet Hank. He also believes in Christian understanding. And Hank wants everyone to know that he is not only gay, but a church-going Christian and a patriot. Hank says he “gets chills” every time he hears “The Star-Spangled Banner.” He wears the uniform of the United States Air Force.

Hank, who is stationed at Edwards Air Force Base, also wants you to know that Hank isn’t his real name. The Pentagon’s “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy requires a certain discretion. But it hasn’t stopped colleagues from asking him, and Hank says he’s encountered nothing but respect for telling the truth. And the policy hasn’t prevented Hank from serving as the festival chairman.

One last note: I don’t see Donald and Chuck much anymore, but the last time I talked to Pete, he said they’re still friends.