Falling in Love Isn’t as Boring as Science Says
Behavior is ruled largely by genetics, scientists tell us. Our DNA guides whether we are a hard-driving executive or a moon-bedazzled poet, a vigorous athlete or a desk-bound accountant, even whether we bowl or play bridge in our spare time or go to church on Sunday.
Even our love lives are manipulated by puppet masters in our genes. Who we love and when we love them--not to mention when we divorce them--are often as preordained as our height and hair color, researchers say.
But perhaps not how we fall in love.
Whether love comes creeping up unexpectedly on little cat feet or strikes with the intensity and furor of a spring thunderstorm may be one of the few aspects of our private relationships in which the nurturing influence of our parents outweighs the mandates of hereditary chemicals, according to new research from psychologists at UC Davis.
In a study of twins published in the most recent issue of the journal Psychological Science, Niels G. Waller and Phillip R. Shaver have shown that genes play virtually no role in our approach to ardor, a surprising and refreshing exception in an area that is increasingly seen as being ruled by inflexible DNA, researchers say.
“Behavioral genetics has basically gotten boring, because you already know the result before you do the study: There is a substantial genetic contribution and family environment doesn’t count for anything,” said geneticist Michael Bailey of Northwestern University. The new study’s conclusion is exciting “because it is so different from everything else that has come up.”
The genetics of behavior has proved a fertile field for research and publication in recent years. Most studies of personality indicate that about 50% of variability among individuals is attributed to genes, with a much smaller percentage resulting from parental influence and the remainder arising from individual life experiences.
Several recent books, such as “Evolution of Love” and “Anatomy of Desire,” have explored the genetic imperatives that created the idea of love and romance in the first place and that have honed the nature of relationships between men and women.
Evolutionary behaviorists argue that the “trophy wife,” the young and beautiful woman married by a successful businessman after shedding his older, less glamorous spouse, is the logical outgrowth of the primitive chieftain’s effort to spread his seed by choosing the woman who superficially appears most fertile.
By the same token, the woman’s willingness to marry the older and, perhaps, less attractive male arises from her need for the protection and resources he can devote to her children, so that her own genetic line will endure. These fundamental imperatives drive all of us in our search for mates, according to psychologist David Buss of the University of Michigan, “but usually we have to settle for what we can get, which is usually something less than ideal.”
In the UC Davis study, Waller and Shaver studied 338 female and 107 male twin pairs identified through the California Twin Registry maintained at the university. About three-quarters of the subjects were identical twins, the rest fraternal.
Studying twins is the most common way to sort out the varying influences of nature and nurture. Identical twins share all of their genes, while fraternal twins, on average, share only half of them. If a trait is genetic, identical twins should share that trait much more commonly than fraternal twins.
To analyze each twin’s “love attitudes,” the researchers used a well-established six-part scale devised by sociologist John A. Lee of the University of Toronto more than 20 years ago. Because of his previous studies of classical literature, Lee assigned Greek names to the six dimensions of love--Eros, Ludus, Storge, Pragma, Mania and Agape. The contribution of each dimension to an individual’s overall love attitude is determined by asking subjects how strongly they agree with a series of 50 questions that illustrates the components.
Those who score high on Eros place considerable value on love and passion, are self-confident, enjoy intimacy and self-disclosure and fall in love fairly quickly. One of the statements measuring Eros was: “My lover and I were attracted to each other immediately after we met.”
Those who score high on Ludus value the fun and excitement of romantic relationships, especially with multiple alternate partners. They are generally not interested in self-disclosure, intimacy or “getting serious.” A sample item: “I try to keep my lover a little uncertain about my commitment to him/her.”
The Davis researchers analyzed the answers for each subject to determine whether the individual profiles were related to genetics or family nurturing. Their overwhelming conclusion was that “individual differences in romantic love are due almost exclusively to environment”--how the child was raised.
The study, Waller said, is “the first clear case where the environment . . . is playing a much stronger role than genetics in creating a family resemblance. This is the first set of psychological variables that I know of where heritability plays such a small role.”
The researchers also interviewed the spouses of 172 of the twins and found that their views on romantic love were quite similar to their mates’, a refutation of the adage that opposites attract. There were two major exceptions to that finding, however--those whose profiles fit in Mania (an indicator of obsession) and Ludus.
One interpretation, Waller said, is that when both partners avoid commitment (Ludus) or when both partners are dependent and jealous (Mania), it is particularly difficult to maintain a relationship.
The researchers speculate that love attitudes may not be the only trait controlled by a person’s rearing. In a second study, still under way, Shaver is finding that loneliness is also more a product of nurture than nature.
“The take-home message here is that there are strong influences that siblings share,” Waller said. “They may possibly be being exposed to the same parents, growing up in culturally homogeneous neighborhoods, having similar peer groups, etc., which shape their love attitudes.”
Moreover, he added, “these shared experiences have a lasting impact on interpersonal relationships. The twins in the study ranged in age from 16 to 90, and the older twins were no less similar to one another than the younger. Environmental influences, like genetic, have a lasting impact.”
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The Six Faces of Love
To determine how people fall in love, researchers divide attitudes about romance into six categories. A series of 50 questions helps determine how large an influence each category plays in their love lives.
* Type: Eros (Passion)
* Characteristics: Value love and passion, are self-confident, enjoy intimacy and self-disclosure, fall in love fairly quickly
* Type: Ludus (Fun)
* Characteristics: Value the fun and excitement of romantic relationships, especially with multiple partners
* Type: Storge (Family affection)
* Characteristics: Value friendship, companionship and reliable affection
* Type: Pragma (Pragmatic)
* Characteristics: Practical, entering a relationship only if it meets certain criteria
* Type: Mania (Obsession)
* Characteristics: Desperate and conflicted. Yearn intensely for love, but experience pain and jealousy
* Type: Agape (Spiritual love)
* Characteristics: Centered on what they give to a partner instead of what they receive. Selfless, spiritual
Sources: Niels G. Waller, Phillip R. Shaver, UC Davis
