Multicultural Manners : Food Etiquette Demands Delicacy

American-born Lucy and her new Ethiopian husband, Eskinder, have been invited to a celebration dinner given by Ethiopian friends of the groom living in the States.

Lucy is well-acquainted with Ethiopian foods. She knows how to eat with her fingers and use the bread, injeri, to pick up the food. However, she is unprepared when Isaac, the host she has just met, tears off a piece of bread, scoops up some stew, tastes it, then comes over and thrusts some into her mouth.

She is offended to have a stranger put his fingers in her mouth.

What went wrong?

The host sampled the fare before offering it to his guests for the same reason royalty employs official tasters: to confirm that the food was safe and delicious.

When Isaac fed Lucy and the others their first bite, he was also acting out a proverb shared by both cultures. “Don’t bite the hand that feeds you,” meaning if you supply your guests with nourishment, they are less likely to become enemies.

Rule: There is more to food than just do’s and don’ts about diet. Certain forms of etiquette make a statement about cultural values such as generosity, safety and comfort.

Norine Dresser is a folklorist and author of “I Felt Like I Was From Another Planet,” (Addison Wesley). Tell her your experiences c/o Voices.