Family Tells Jury About Murdered Little Girl : Crime: In death- penalty hearing, Nicole Parker’s parents and brothers share feelings of loss with panel that convicted her killer.

Second-grader Nicole Parker was afraid of the darkness, her mother testified Thursday, but now--more than a year after Nicole’s murder--Lori Parker says she, too, dreads the dark.

“At night I have the worst time. I think it’s because she was missing at night,” Lori Parker told a Superior Court jury Thursday, as a hearing began to decide whether Hooman Ashkan Panah, the man convicted of sodomizing and murdering Nicole in November, 1993, should receive the death penalty or spend the rest of his life in prison.

Sobbing at times, Parker described how she desperately misses her murdered “baby girl,” and how she regrets she’ll never see Nicole grow up.

“I’ll never see her go on a date. I’ll never be able to shop with her for a prom dress. I’ll never be the mother of the bride,” she said, her voice quavering.

Parker testified that the murder of Nicole, her youngest child and only daughter, left her hardened. She says she just “goes through the motions” each day. She has lost her faith in God.

Every night, she said, she observes a ritual: She stands alone on a balcony, looks toward an especially bright star, and talks to Nicole.

The testimony of Parker, her former husband, and their three sons brought tears to the eyes of those in Judge Sandy Kriegler’s packed courtroom on Thursday. Most of the spectators and many of the jurors wept, and the judge and court staff were grim-faced.

Defense attorney Robert Sheahen contends that Panah, 23, is mentally ill, was abused as a child, and first tried suicide at age 4. Sheahen told jurors to direct their anger not at Panah, but at a mental-health system that failed to diagnose or treat him after he took an overdose of tranquilizers in 1988.

Though the Parkers’ memories of Nicole dominated the hearing, Panah and his mother erupted in emotional outbursts as it began. The two were temporarily ejected from the courtroom, delaying the morning’s proceedings by more than an hour.

Mehri Monfared, Panah’s mother, a former cable television producer and talk show host, was warned by a deputy when she began sobbing and muttering. When she continued to cry and shake her head, Monfared was carried from the courtroom wailing, “Don’t do it to me. Please! Please! I didn’t do anything.”

Panah slammed his palm against the defense table and angrily turned in his seat, shouting, “Leave her alone!” as deputies carried his mother out a side door. Then he, too, was ejected.

“And you call yourselves human beings,” he shouted. “No respect!”

When the hearing resumed, Panah sat quietly at the defense table, his expression devoid of emotion as witnesses spoke of the little girl he was convicted of murdering.

When she disappeared from a courtyard outside her father’s Woodland Hills apartment in November, 1993, Nicole was 8, the sort of child who charmed everyone she met. A massive search for her ended 36 hours later, when her battered body was found stuffed in a suitcase in Panah’s bedroom closet.

Last month, the jury found Panah guilty of first-degree murder, sodomy and other sex offenses in Nicole’s death.

Nicole’s family agreed to testify, Deputy Dist. Atty. Peter S. Berman said, to demonstrate how the ripples of a shocking crime still are being felt by its victims--and by the community.

“The evidence will show Nicole’s uniqueness as a human being,” Berman told the jury. “It is evidence that will help you understand the enormity of the crime Mr. Panah has committed.”

Lori and Edward Parker decided to become foster parents after Lori lost a child at birth, according to testimony. Eventually, they adopted Nicole, who was born to a PCP-addicted mother, and brother Casey.

From the beginning, Nicole was special.

“She had a gift. She sparkled,” Lori Parker testified.

She loved acting and softball and the movie “A League of Their Own.” She had her own makeup bag and she loved to mimic her mother applying makeup.

In Nicole’s absence, family members said, there is only guilt, depression and anger.

“At some point, I hope I can get over the violence of her death and appreciate the beauty of the little life she had. Right now, I can’t do that,” Lori Parker added. “I miss her desperately. I can’t tell you how much I miss her hugs, her smiles, her kisses.”

Nicole’s father and her older brother, Travis, 18, are overcome with guilt, feeling they should have watched Nicole more closely the day she died. Travis keeps a shrine to Nicole in his room, briefly contemplated suicide and abandoned his plans to attend the University of Nebraska so he could stay close to his family.

“Travis was Mr. Personality,” his father testified. “He’s become a totally different person. He’s become one of the masses. He’s no longer Mr. Personality. . . . He doesn’t do much of anything anymore.”

Another brother, 16-year-old Chad, hadn’t talked about Nicole at all. Once a straight-A student and stellar athlete, he is dabbling with drugs and alcohol, according to testimony.

“Chad is very bottled up. His lifestyle has changed,” Travis Parker testified. Their mother said she fears for Chad.

But on the witness stand, Chad opened up for the first time as he fondly recalled the sister who “was always so happy she made me happy. She was the one who people watched. . . . She was the sweetest girl and she had the biggest imagination.”

The youngest brother, 10-year-old Casey, testified that he’s also felt Nicole’s loss. “I don’t have anybody now to play with,” he said.

The hearing will continue today with testimony from defense witnesses.