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Would you settle for the guy who...

Would you settle for the guy who sold him the orchid?Gil Chesterton, the adviser for Beverly Hills High’s Watchtower yearbook, recently received an unusual request from England. It pertained to an alumnus who has become a well-known comic.

“I work for a British TV show called, ‘The Word,’ ” the note began. “We are interviewing Pauly Shore, class of ’86, in London. We would like to use his yearbook picture with your permission. We would also like to interview his prom date via satellite and would appreciate your help in locating her. So please call me at your earliest convenience.”

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This bullet doesn’t have anyone’s name on it: But it could have an I.D. number if inventor William Collier of Glendale has his way.

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He is the inventor of the Identifiable Collier Bullet, a process that would imprint serial numbers on both the slug and the casing. “Even when the slug breaks up into pieces, it can still be identified,” claims Collier, the owner of a bicycle shop.

Collier, who won a prize at the recent Invention Convention in Pasadena, is pushing for federal legislation that would require every bullet to have identification. Such a bill would aid police in cases in which “only a bullet can be found at the scene of the crime,” Collier said.

And who knows? Maybe you could also use your bullets as one form of I.D. when cashing a check.

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Fresh fish: Robert William of Hancock Park is disgusted with a feathery invader.

“There’s this big flamingo-type bird that I’d seen sitting on my chimney,” he says. “Then, the other day, I saw him on our lawn near the fish pond. Sure enough, my handyman later saw him walk into the water and start spearing fish. He got 40 of them. We have three little quivering goldfish hiding in the corner of the pond--that’s all.”

William, who plans to replenish the pond and protect it with a stuffed owl or a screen, can’t figure why this incident happened--the first of its kind in 50 years he has lived there.

“We’ve had possums and other animals, too,” he added.

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The possums aren’t poachers?

“They go for the garbage,” William said.

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Once a birdman . . . ?After we heard from William, we opened a letter from Jack Repp of Palm Springs, who enclosed a funny typo in a newspaper ad. But here’s what caught our eye in his letter:

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“My name and photo appeared in the old Chicago Herald-American 59 years ago, having to do with the ‘Junior Birdmen of America,’ ” Repp wrote. “But that fame proved to be fleeting.”

Welcome back into the spotlight, Jack. Now, about flamingo-type birds that invade fish ponds. . . .

miscelLAny Bank of America’s mobile automatic teller machine, which was seen serving spectators at the Convention Center during a recent event, has this message scrawled on its left, front-hand door: “Driver Carries No Cash.”


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