FOLLOW-UP : ‘I Have a Problem’

A man called his insurance company and said, “I want to go to counseling and I want to go to this particular place. After reading this article in the paper, I know I have a problem.”

He related to the descriptions in the article of the different types of abuse. He said, “That sounds like me.” He said he had physically abused his girlfriend, emotionally abused her, insulted her.

He has come every week. For somebody to come in voluntarily and stay as long as he has is unusual. He hasn’t been ordered. Right after O. J. Simpson was arrested, we had a lot of men calling, saying, “I have a problem and I want to come in,” or, “My wife is ordering me to go to counseling.” They would come in for two or three sessions and once their wives were placated, they stopped. But he keeps coming.

He saw his former girlfriend the other day, driving by with someone else, and he said he had all sorts of thoughts but he didn’t follow through on them. I said, “What would you have done a few months ago?” He said, “I probably would have followed her and made a big stink about it.”

Another man also saw the article and came in on the urging of his wife. I don’t know that he’s completely sold on his behavior as being so problematic, as opposed to the other man, who takes complete responsibility for his behavior. But he comes.

We also had some women who called wanting help on services available. They finally identified that they might be in an abusive relationship. They had always thought, “This is just the way it is.” But it doesn’t have to be.