Theater Review : Real Crime in Mystery Is Slow Pace

Ron Clark’s and Sam Bobrick’s harmless bit of nonsense, “Murder at the Howard Johnson’s,” is the kind of staple that theaters tired of Neil Simon thrive on.

Though darker than Simon comedies, “Murder” plays in the land of Simon, where marriages are threatening to crash and burn and loyalties are tested. And, like Simon’s most commercial work, it evaporates in the mind the second it’s over.

It can, though, be a wonderful chance for actors to sharpen their comic rapiers and perform at farcical high speed. At least, that is what Clark and Bobrick intend.

They definitely didn’t intend anything like what goes on at Irvine Community Theatre, where director Woody Jones has things moving at something faster than the pace of a snail, and much, much slower than a hare. It certainly doesn’t help to give us time to think about the script’s utter silliness. There’s only one workable formula here: The swifter, the funnier.

This isn’t to say that “Murder” is a good farce on paper--it’s not. We are first presented with the classic “Les Diaboliques” plot, in which the wife and her lover (Beth Titus’ Arlene and Warren Draper’s Mitchell) kill the husband (Paul Miller’s Jeffrey) in a bathtub. Or, at least, they try to.

The running gag in Clark’s and Bobrick’s version is that one murder attempt spawns more and more revenge in Act I’s second scene and Act II’s single scene. The combinations of murderers and victims are as many as one can concoct in a love triangle, and Clark and Bobrick do go all the way with their concoctions.

It may sound cleverer than it is. The revenge, for instance, ends up in one of those bad misogynist fantasies that not even black comedy wears well. (Out of fairness to plot lovers, we won’t reveal specifics.) And why would Arlene so quickly opt to kill Jeffrey, who refuses her divorce demand? Unlike the “Diaboliques” lovers, nothing is stopping this pair from running away.

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Again, the only reason we have time for such analysis is that this cast plods when it should zip. Each actor is asked to play extremely archly, in three conflicting styles. Titus’ is the dippy, who-me? style--killer earthquakes wouldn’t faze this woman. Draper’s is the suave style but done so stereotypically that we see too soon that he’s a straw man. Miller’s is the cartoon style, done with a disconcertingly changeless facial expression halfway between pain and a mad grin.

This may be farce lite, but to give it life on stage, these characters shouldn’t be stick figures. After all, the subtext here is a stew of a soured marriage, sleazy infidelity and rampant disloyalty.

Without the painful consequences, the potential murders in “Murder” mean nothing. And without the touch of crafty farceurs , “Murder” won’t kill you with laughs.

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Beth Titus: Arlene Miller

Warren Draper: Mitchell Lovell

Jeffrey Shank: Paul Miller

An Irvine Community Theatre production of Ron Clark’s and Sam Bobrick’s comedy. Directed by Woody Jones. Lights and sound: Bronson Hardy.

* “Murder at the Howard Johnson’s,” Irvine Community Theatre, Turtle Rock Community Park, 1 Sunnyhill, Irvine. Fridays-Saturdays, 8 p.m. Ends April 29. $8. (714) 857-5496. Running time: 1 hour, 40 minutes.