CLUB REVIEW : Nights in White Satin at Milk Bar

The Milk Bar is the most beautifully art-directed club since Jack Rabbit Slim’s from “Pulp Fiction.” Too bad many of the people who frequent the 2-week-old Beverly Hills club appear to be choreographed themselves.

Perhaps it’s a location foible--the Milk Bar is poised in the toniest part of a tony city. If the club, modeled after New York’s Milk Bar, had debuted in Hollywood, it would have competed with the Lava Lounge crowd--an interesting mix of young Hollywood types who enjoy the Lounge’s gorgeous environment without trying to outdo it. If the Milk Bar’s bimbos and himbos would just go back to Tatou, the two-room club could be the coolest drink in town.

Not only is the deejayed music mix a perfect blend of soul (think Bill Withers, Marvin Gaye and Billie Holiday), but the club is so stylishly breathtaking, even “The Avengers’ ” Emma Peel would be impressed. Everything is milky white: the sleek leather couches, the oval-shaped bar, the floors, the walls, each globe-shaped lighting fixture and the piano. The only notable speck of color is the standard-issue pay phone.

All this whiteness is offset by iridescent floor-to-ceiling lighting fixtures, giving the club a moody ambience. Yet unlike L.A.’s Nova Express Cafe, a coffee shop that attempts to create a similar mood with dramatic lighting and Day-Glo walls, the Milk Bar is stunning without trying too hard. We hope someday we can say the same for its clientele.

* The Milk Bar, 453 N. Canon Drive, Beverly Hills, 21 & over, no cover. Unlisted phone number.