Homophobia and ‘Real Men’

The April 10 Community Essay “Homophobes Restrict All Males, Straight and Gay” requires a response.

The essay relates a scene involving two husky, 20-something men sitting in a Santa Monica movie theater. They sat maintaining an empty seat between them. (Author Joseph) Hanania suggests that this was to make clear to potential onlookers that they were not gay.

This assumption on Hanania’s part regarding their motivation seems a huge jump. If I were to attend a movie with a male friend it is highly likely that there would be an empty seat between us. Why? I need a little elbow room. That would not be an issue when sitting next to most females, who are likely to be physically smaller.

Hanania goes on to discuss this “empty seat” that distances many men from one another, keeping us isolated and afraid of our own gender. I don’t know what he is talking about. I have several male friends whom I would not hesitate to--and have many times in the past--hugged. We are Christians and some of us belong to the same Bible study group. Would an onlooker, not knowing us, make the false assumption that we are gay? I don’t know. What’s more, it doesn’t concern me.

I also see Hanania tossing around the term “homophobic.” The term is defined as fear of homosexuals. Guess what, Joe? I fear no man, including homosexual males. Their sexual lifestyle disgusts me. I won’t deny that. I don’t hate those individuals, I hate their lifestyle--and I feel sorry for them. I also find gay bashing offensive. I believe that gays already have enough problems without me adding to them.

CHUCK SHARP

Laguna Niguel

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Cheers to Joseph Hanania. I thought I was the only one who noticed that when two men go to the movies, they will invariably keep an empty seat between them to assure the men and other moviegoers that they are not gay.

So homophobia--besides emotionally distancing men from one another--is the primary reason why otherwise intelligent men follow the moral precepts of the fundamentalist crowd and the far right.

But more alarming, homophobia kills. On March 30, The Times ran a story headlined, “Hate Crimes Against Gays, Latinos Up in L.A. County.” It noted that as homophobia increased, so did the violence against gays.

A homophobe only has power until one person stands up to him. Be that person.

DAVID TULANIAN

Victorville