Sidebar at ChinoisEsquire’s “Reality Check” column reports...
Sidebar at Chinois
Esquire’s “Reality Check” column reports that Disney boss Michael Eisner recently ran into writer John Gregory Dunne at a Santa Monica restaurant. Referring to their heart bypass surgeries, Dunne said, “I believe you and I recently had the same operation.”
Whereupon the competitive Eisner responded: “Mine was more dangerous.”
But what Esquire didn’t say was that attorney Leslie Abramson, who was dining with Dunne at Chinois, couldn’t let the moment pass without objecting on the grounds of insufficient irony.
“Of course yours was more dangerous,” she told Eisner. “You’re a richer and more important person.”
Wuthering depths
Nanci Cone, Lorna Lubarsky, Erica Enright and others point out that the 99 Cents Only Stores rewrote the title of a classic in a recent ad. At first, we mistakenly thought the readers meant, “The House of the Six Gables.” Then we noticed, “ Withering Heights.”
To paraphrase Sam Goldwyn, if Emily Bronte were still alive, she’d be spinning in her grave.
Addressed to the nines
By the way, 99 Cents Only ads are the most common items we receive in the mail, mainly because readers are constantly noticing the portion that says the stores are “Open 9 a.m.--9 p.m. 9 Days a Week.” But they really are open 9 a.m. to 9 p.m.--we checked.
Lost in space
Irene Machuca of Manhattan Beach asked a video store clerk if he had a copy of “Cobb,” the story of Ty Cobb.
“You want ‘Timecop?’ ” the clerk asked.
“No--’Cobb,’ ” she said.
“ ‘Timecop’ is out,” the clerk said. “Want to reserve it?”
“ ‘Cobb,’ ” she repeated. “About the baseball player.”
“No,” the clerk said. “ ‘Timecop’ isn’t about a baseball player.”
She rented “Quiz Show” instead.
What’s next--the ‘Don’t Workout’ video?
So you’re one of those people who join a health club, torture your muscles for a few weeks, then never show up again. (OK, we’re also one of those people). Well, Linda Reid of West L.A. noticed that Bally’s Holiday Spa Health Clubs have you (us) in mind. For $48, the clubs will extend “inactive member” status for 12 months so that if you decide to try to work off the flab next year you can do so “without paying a full renewal fee.”
We’re going to lie down and think about it first.
miscelLAny Kato Kaelin, boat-sitter? Carnival Cruises is offering an “O.J. Trial of the Century” voyage between L.A. and Baja California, featuring “comic entertainment, legal experts, TV reporters and other O.J. ‘celebrities.” Date of the epoch journey is Sept. 8-11. Will there be any jurors left by then?