Prayer, Ceremony, Gold and Family on the Way to Becoming ‘One Soul in Two Bodies’

The marriage of Indu Ahluwalia and Swaneel Kalsi cost as much as $400,000, according to Surjit Kalsi, with the bride’s family bearing slightly more of the financial burden. After a bridal shower in Malibu on Saturday, July 8, the ceremony officially began.

Sunday: About 70 relatives and close friends gather in the morning--shoes off and heads covered--at the Huntington Beach home of bride’s uncle. In the Arkhand Path ceremony, the guests chant blessings and hymns with the accompaniment of two harmoniums (accordion-like instruments) and a tabla (drum). Men and women sit on opposite sides, and Swaneel and Indu exchange coy looks. Guests drop money in front of the Sikh holy book, the Guru Granth Sahib, in a show of thanks to God.

When the guests retire to the pool outside, the priest continues reading to an empty room. For the next 48 hours, priests working in two-hour shifts will read the entire Guru Granth Sahib.

Wednesday: At the Kalsis’ Rancho Palos Verdes home, the bride’s family (but not the bride) gathers in the driveway, each member holding a gift: dozens of fruit baskets, bowls of nuts and boxes of candy, all wrapped and sealed with a gold heart-shaped sticker that reads “Indu Weds Swaneel 15-7-1995.”

Together, they enter the house and take turns, all 100 of them, embracing the groom in the Sagan ceremony. As Swaneel sits in the center of the packed living room, each family member then lines up to rub rice and saffron on his forehead, put something sweet in his mouth, give him money or jewelry and kiss him.

Thursday: Tonight is Indu’s night. Looking radiant in a gold-plated robe, she sits on a white and green swing at the Gaylord Restaurant in Beverly Hills. During the Chunni ceremony, the groom’s family (but not the groom) gives her food, wraps her with a ceremonial scarf (the Chunni), and adorns her with makeup and gold jewelry.

Her hands, arms and feet are painted for the Mehandi custom; an artist uses a henna-filled pen to draw ornate, heart-shaped designs on her skin.

After dinner, family members perform songs and dances for the bride and groom. In the first song, Indu’s cousin Bhavna tells Indu that her new brother-in-law, Surya, is flirting with all the girls. Surya takes the stage and admits that, yes, he is overcome by the women. In contrast to the traditional Indian garb of most guests, Surya is dressed in club wear--a low-cut white tank top, black jacket, jeans and boots.

Friday: Outside the Long Beach Hilton, Surya, wearing a pink turban and gray kurtha pajamas, introduces himself to a guest: “Hi, I’m Aladdin.”

With hotel employees watching nervously, a horse-drawn carriage brings Swaneel to the front entrance, where Indu’s family awaits. While the previous ceremonies involved the bride’s family embracing the groom and vice versa, tonight’s Milni ceremony brings direct contact between the two families. First, the two fathers hug each other and exchange garlands and gold coins, then the two brothers follow, then two uncles, and so on.

Downstairs in the capacious ballroom, Swaneel and Indu exchange their own garlands. They sit on the stage for hours, watching the guests dance and the money flow. This is their palace, and they are the king and queen.

Saturday: At 9 a.m., Swaneel stands exhausted in the parking lot of the Sikh Temple of Orange County in Santa Ana. Last night’s party went until 2 a.m.

Inside the modest temple, the guests sit on the floor in front of the Guru Granth Sahib and a growing pile of money. Swaneel wears white and orange; Indu wears pink and gold.

As four marriage hymns are read, Indu and Swaneel walk around the book four times, symbolizing their lives revolving around God.

After the fourth revolution, they are married--”one soul in two bodies,” according to Swaneel’s uncle Mohinder. They remain on the floor in front of the Sahib as guests practically bury them with money, jewelry, and garlands of flowers and ribbons. Finally, they stand, sore, parched and exhausted. “My God, I’m still alive?” asks Indu. “It’s a miracle.”

That afternoon, the families retire to the Huntington Beach home for the Doli ceremony, the most emotional experience of the week. First, though, is a custom in which the bride’s sister and cousins hold the groom’s shoes for ransom.

At first, the six girls demand the mind-boggling sum of $5,000, then lower it to $3,000. After 20 minutes of haggling, they settle for $600 and six gold rings.

During the Doli ceremony, the bride leaves her family for her new one. As the newlyweds are fed sweet milk and rice by Indu’s family, she begins to cry, and most of the room soon joins her.

Together, Swaneel and Indu leave the house, and Indu throws rice behind her, symbolically thanking her parents for raising and feeding her. She is placed into the actual Doli, a Cinderella-like carriage, and wheeled to a waiting limo around the corner. Traditionally, the Doli would carry the bride to her new home, but the Huntington Beach to Rancho Palos Verdes route demands something a little faster.

Sunday: The official reception takes place at the Biltmore Hotel in Downtown Los Angeles. Nothing religious--just a big bash.

After the guests have moved from the Gold Room (cocktails) to the Crystal Room (dinner and dancing), the newlyweds arrive, having spent the previous night in the hotel, their first together. Swaneel wears black and sports a freshly shaven face, his weeklong beard absent. Indu struggles to support a 90-pound gold robe, six months in the making in India.

They enter to great fanfare and applause, kiss, and then dance to a Hindi rendition of Stevie Wonder’s “I Just Called to Say I Love You.”