Conversation : An Evangelical World That Does Not Welcome Bob Dole

I was raised in the fundamentalist movement and attended Twin Lakes Baptist Church in Aptos, outside San Francisco. I grew up loving both my church and the strong Biblical training I received.

But as the gay movement grew, so did the church’s anti-gay rhetoric. It was, my minister taught, unbiblical and un - Christian to be gay. So I was caught in the dilemma of wanting to worship and love God, while being taught that God hates gays.

I figured I’d better do everything I could to reconcile the two parts of me, and so discovered that what mainstream fundamentalists say about gays is not only distorted theology; it could never result in a moral life in the real world.

Christ taught that to have a moral life, you need to love your neighbor as yourself. The key to loving your neighbor is first to love yourself.

But this is where mainstream fundamentalism has gotten off center. Instead of focusing on God’s love, mainstream ministers emphasize contradictory, often self-serving Biblical interpretations. Thus, fundamentalism has veered so far from Christ’s spirit that the very word Christian has become synonymous with intolerance and hatred. Recently, even Sen. Robert Dole entered the fray, returning a contribution from Log Cabin Republicans and promoting the most divisive, anti-family members in our church--all, hypocritically, in the name of Christianity.

We at Evangelicals Concerned believe that anyone entering a committed relationship marked by respect and integrity is making a profoundly Christian and moral choice. We believe the sexual act in this context can be a holy experience, and that the church’s role is to help people strive for this ideal.

We have found, however, that traditional fundamentalists want to deny that any of us are sexual beings. Even in the context of marriage, fundamentalists keeps sex very quiet and often joyless, as if sex itself were somehow sinful. For gays, there’s no place at all to express sexuality.

Some fundamentalists resolve this by falsely claiming to be celibate. Thus, we have priests who molest children and ministers who consort with prostitutes and shed televised tears of “ repentance. “ We even have ministers who cheat on their wives with both men and women.

All of this should flash a red light that all is not well in our church, that we need to re-examine our concepts of right and wrong. Instead, we manufacture cover-ups -- and then wonder why fundamentalism gets a bad rap.

We at E.C. define a true Christian as one who seeks to live his or her life as a testimony to Christ’s love. The true Christian is marked by a gentleness and an ability to love unconditionally. Since we could not find affirmation for who we are and the ability to live a moral, Christian lifestyle in the mainstream churches, we founded our own. We invite our brothers and sisters, gay or straight, to join us in rediscovering the true spirit of Christianity through our Tuesday night Bible studies.

Let me close by telling you about Todd, whom I met through EC, Long Beach. Todd’s parents were mainstream fundamentalists who prayed for the “healing” of gays and lay hands on them to cast out their “demons.” Then they found out they had a gay son and were furious at the church for selling them a bill of goods. Unable to find a fundamentalist church inclusive of all Christians, including his son, Todd’s father no longer ministers.

When I told my parents I am gay, however, they opted for the church’s teachings, acknowledging neither my orientation or my relationship. It hurts me because I want to be included in the family, just as my sister is with her boyfriend. I want to tell them I’m the same son they always had and loved. I want to tell them that as a Christian, we’re taught to always speak the truth in love, and I’ve acted on that teaching. I haven’t changed; they just know the truth about me now, whereas before that truth was concealed in lies.

I want to tell them that I love them, and that my heart still breaks because I want to be close to them. And that I want to have Holy Union with Todd, but I don’t want just Todd’s family to be there on one side of the church; I want my family there, too.

Although my own family has not yet accepted me, Todd’s family’s acceptance gives me hope of what may yet happen.